source: NME
date: September 26th 2001
This year, Noel went to all the festivals, a billion gigs and concluded that
the only thing great in the musical universe is The Strokes.
"They've got the tunes," he enthuses. "They've got that thing and I don't know
why, the un-nameable thing."
呵 Noel 今年去過無數音樂祭和演唱會，得到的一個結論就是，The Strokes 是目前
音樂宇宙裡唯一的棒團。他還強調有好歌又有“那東西”(應該是指一個團的精神態度吧)
的 Strokes 怎麼可能還沒打響名號呢？
Q: Didn't Julian say something horrible about you?
難道你沒聽說 Julian (Strokes 主唱)說了你一些壞話？(來了來了，媒體哦-_-~)
Noel: "That was you lot there, man. Don't bullshit me, I know how it works!
What he said was, 'To have Noel Gallagher at your gig who up until that
point I thought was the biggest dick in the world was strange'. But
obviously they wouldn't write the full piece because that's not a
headline? 'But actually he was really cool'. There's nothing NME wants
better than me to retaliate to that and then it becomes a Strokes/Oasis
thing and I'm afraid we've been there before with fucking monkey-boy
from Colchester, and all that Blur/Oasis thing took away from what we
fuckin were, and he hung onto our coat-tails and if it wasn't for us he
wouldn't be where he is now, the twat. So it's not gonna happen with
The Strokes because I'm fucking letting it go because he didn't say it,
plus I think they're great."
嘿嘿頭子果然明鑑啊;)他一開始就諷刺道這還不都是你們這些愛興風作浪的媒體
搞出來的，別想要唬我！呵 Noel 果然還是有在看報紙，他把之前媒體寫 Julian
發表出的一段話(大意是 Noel 這個混蛋竟然那麼欣賞他的團他可不敢領教啊等等)
“還原”成另一套說法(恕我翻不出頭子這段關係代名詞超複雜的句子:p)。
然後還明指 NME 的企圖無非是想藉這篇報導刺激頭子做出反擊，這樣就可以製造
另一波 Strokes Vs. Oasis 的夙怨。哈哈頭子說你少來了，他們以前就經歷不少
類似的情況，像是對 Colchester 或是對 Blur 都是這樣。所以現在他不會讓
這種鳥事再度發生在他真正欣賞的 Strokes 身上。
Q: Damon out of Gorillaz, as he's now known, wants you in his band Liam.
目前待在 Gorillaz 的 Damon 想要你加入他們的團哦，Liam？
Liam: "Does he. Does he. Good. Fooking monkey. (Leaps out of seat, bowls
around the floor) I've never fooking seen a gorilla with no hair!
So he can fooking suck his own fooking cock and his mate in his band's
cock. That cunt's going on about I haven't sung a decent tune for years,
right? I think it's quite ironic. At least I do sing tunes; what's that
fooking nonsense that's on the radio 'ooh-de-fucky-boo', its like fooking
three-year-old's music, worse than Steps. Now there's a cunt who's not
into it. Whatever happened to his beloved Blur? I'll slap that bald cunt
when I see him, the dick. Wants to get a wig or summat before he starts
talking about me. I'm sure he's winding me up and he's done a good job,
but I'm here for the wind-up, so that's that,
what was the next question?"
呵這一段真的很“毒”，孩子王你好毒你好毒毒毒毒毒:p
在逐字逐句翻之前，我要說明兩點：
1. Liam 看得出來還記恨當年 Damon 批評他唱歌的壞話。
2. Liam 一向不喜歡甚至討厭“電子樂”，或者說是 vocals 部分顯得比較弱
的音樂，我在書上讀過即使是好友兼鍵盤手 Mike Rowe 做的一些電子樂，
Liam 在聽了大概 30 秒還沒 vocals 之後就大嚷“歌聲呢？”
結果大家都沉默他就走人了。
“是嗎？是嗎？很好。幹他媽的猴子。﹝開始跳出座位，身體彎低至地板﹞
我倒是從來沒看過一隻沒毛的大猩猩呢！﹝Gorillaz 小寫的話有大猩猩之義，
而據我所知，Damon 最近是不是剃頭了啊，所以 Liam 才這樣諷刺啦﹞
這樣一來他就可以很方便的 suck his own fooking cock ﹝不好意思翻咧，
了的人自然了，不了的人去查一下字典就了﹞，也可以去 suck his mate
in his band's cock 了。哼那個混蛋不是說我好幾年來都沒唱過一首好歌嗎？
這倒諷刺了，至少我唱的還是“歌”，我在收音機聽到的那些他媽無聊的
'ooh-de-fucky-boo' 是什麼東西啊？﹝應該是 Gorillaz 其中的一首歌吧﹞
像極了他媽的三歲小孩的音樂，比 Steps 還糟咧。
我看到的是一個不專心投入的混蛋，他的愛團 Blur 怎麼了呢？
下次讓我看到那個禿頭的混蛋我一定要好好閃他一八展，豬頭。
拜託他下次要談到我的時候先戴頂假髮好不好啊？
我相信要我加入他“大猩猩”的說法純粹是他想激怒我的詭計，他做得很好啊
但我不就是因為那個詭計而坐在這裡接受訪問的嗎？就是如此，下個問題。”
Q: How's your drinking these days?
這些日子來喝酒的狀況怎麼樣啊？
Liam: "I'm a fooking master at it. When I drink, I drink. I don't fooking pussy
about. I get stuck in there and get wasted and I like it and I wake up
the next day and think 'fooking hell' then I leave off for a bit.
I'm quite happy with my drinking situation at the moment."
我現在他媽的收放自如。當我喝酒的時候，我就是在喝酒。我不會他媽的囉唆
找什麼藉口。我卡在這個東西上，喝個爛醉如泥，然而我享受它，
隔天醒來時候我會想〝幹〞然後我就稍微收斂一點。我很滿意我目前的喝酒狀況。
Q: How about you and coke, Noel? Ever get cocaine wistfulness?
那至於你和你的“可樂”呢，Noel？曾經惆悵過你的古柯鹼不再嗎？
Noel: "What, I could do with a line? Not at all. It means I can concentrate
solely on me drinkin'. You could fucking rack 'em out right now this
second and I'd be there egging you on, 'Go on! Call that a line!?'
I'm just glad I didn't end up in The Priory. Suppose it depends how
strong you are."
什麼？我可用一句話就回答你這個問題：一點也不。
呵這樣表示我能專注在我的“品酒”上了。你可以他媽的現在就把那些東西擺在
面前，我也只會拿雞蛋砸你而已。〝來啊！就這麼一點小誘惑嗎？〞
我只是很慶幸到頭來我不用跑到修道院去修身養性而已。我想這應該和你有多
堅強堅定有關係吧。
Liam: "There's too many things going on in our lives to be sittin' around doing
cocaine and drinking all day long. There's nappies to be changed and
I'm fooking great at it. There's trainers to be bought. And there's hair
to be cut. And there's winks to be winked. Y'knowhatimean?"
在生活中有太多瑣事會讓你不能整天坐下來吸些古柯鹼喝些酒。
有尿布要換，而且我現在是他媽的高手。有鞋子要買，有頭髮要剪，有覺要睡，
這樣你了嗎？
To be contined 待續...
Cheers!
Patsy "Gallagher"
--
Thou shalt repeatedly say and believe that
thy band is the best band in the world.
你們應當覆誦並相信
自己所喜愛的團是世界上最棒的樂團。
--NoelRock. 10 Commandments of Oasis
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.csie.ntu.edu.tw)
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