[外電] A requiem for the S.S.O.L. Era in Phoenix (一)

[kerrys (台北不是我的家)]

    原文出處：
              http://0rz.tw/ce4bB

--

I made my friend Chris Connelly appear on this week's B.S. Report to discuss "
critically acclaimed sports teams," following up on a discussion we had right
after Game 2 of the Suns-Spurs series, when things were looking bleak for
Phoenix and the end of Mike D'Antoni's reign seemed imminent.
    太陽vs馬刺系列賽第二戰後，情勢看來對鳳凰城極為不利，而冷笑話執教鞭的日子似
乎也將走到盡頭。賽後討論結束我找了我好朋友Chris Connelly一起在這週的B.S.報導中
談論"受到盛讚的運動隊伍"。

"Well, that's OK that they didn't win the title," Connelly cheerfully said at
the time. "At least they were critically acclaimed!"
    "嗯，就算他們最後仍未能拿下總冠軍也沒關係的，"當時Connelly爽朗地說道。"至少
他們獲得了高度的讚揚！"

From there, Connelly unleashed his theory of "critically acclaimed" sports
teams (check the podcast for the full details) and how these Suns teams would
be cheerfully remembered some day like we remember Coryell's Chargers and the
Fab Five. In other words, it didn't really matter that they never won a
championship, just like it didn't matter that "Pulp Fiction" didn't win an
Oscar, "The Wire" never won an Emmy and "Arrested Development" bombed in the
ratings. We would always remember them fondly and feel like they were more
successful than they actually were.
    從那段話中，Connelly表明了他對於運動隊伍"受到盛讚"的定義(欲知詳情請自行參照
podcast)以及未來我們仍將津津樂道地回想起這幾年的太陽隊，就像我們懷念Coryell的戰
馬隊還有密西根五虎那樣。換句話說，就算他們從未拿下總冠軍也無妨，就像"黑色追緝令
"未能奪得奧斯卡獎，"火線重案組"從未獲得艾美獎還有"發展受阻"的收視率一敗塗地那樣
，沒關係的。我們總會不斷緬懷他們並且認為他們比實際的表現更為成功。

And I was sitting there thinking, "Why didn't I think of that?"
    而我不禁坐在這裡想著，"為什麼我不能用這樣的心態去看待這幾年的太陽呢？"

You couldn't come up with a better two-word eulogy for the Seven Seconds or
Less Era (or S.S.O.L. Era) in Phoenix: Critically acclaimed.
    你無法找出另外一個由兩個字組成(Critically acclaimed)的讚詞來形容這支過去幾
年以"七秒或更快"的快速跑轟風格在鳳凰城引領風騷的太陽隊：受到盛讚。

Maybe the Suns didn't win a championship, but we'll remember them 100 times
more fondly than the brutally efficient and hopelessly bland Spurs, who taught
everyone over the years that the regular season doesn't matter, transformed the
NBA playoffs into a flopathon, revived the vile and fan-unfriendly Hack-A-Shaq
strategy and did everything short of sending Bruce Bowen out on the court with
a chainsaw and a taser. If the Spurs were the Team of the Decade, no wonder
ratings dwindled until the league's big comeback this season. The real shame is
that all the mugging, acting, eye-rolling, flopping, rule-bending and
hysterical shrugging obscured what should have been remembered as a throwback
sports team, a shrewdly assembled roster of well-coached guys who played
beautifully together, didn't care about credit and revolved around the best
power forward who ever played. Instead, we'll remember them as the team that
turned the NBA playoffs into the World Cup. Congratulations, fellas.
    或許太陽未能拿下總冠軍，但是相較於那支效率高得嚇人且球風極度無趣的馬刺，未
來我們更為趣味盎然地談論到太陽的次數將會超出百倍以上。馬刺年復一年地教訓所有人
：例行賽一點也不重要，只要回復暗黑本色，把季後賽變成假摔大賽、祭出令球迷咬牙切
齒的駭客戰術，除了直接讓包叔配備電鋸和電擊槍上場外，為了勝利可以無所不用其極。
如果說馬刺是過去十年以來的最佳球隊，也難怪直到本季聯盟大翻身以前收視率會逐漸下
滑。真正丟臉的是，這支由一群訓練有素的球員不問榮辱，同心協力環繞可能是史上最偉
大的大前鋒打球的球隊原本可以被視為傳統經典再現，不過這一切全因那些強盜般的動作
、令人目眩神迷的假摔教學、對於規則的扭曲還有歇斯底里的聳肩而失色。反倒是，我們
只會記得是他們把NBA季後賽變成了世界盃。恭喜了，兄弟。

(Important note: I don't hate the Spurs nearly that much; I'm trying to work up
a proper level amount of hatred for them for the inevitable Celtics-Spurs
Finals that's going to happen unless Doc Rivers screws it up ... which is
exceedingly possible. The Spurs are a difficult team to dislike but you can do
it if you try hard enough. I've made some huge strides in the past week. Just
indulge me. Thanks.)
    (重要備註：其實我不那麼討厭馬刺；不過除非是Doc Rivers搞砸了...當然這可能性
不低就是，否則對於無法避免的塞馬大戰，我會嘗試激發適當程度的厭惡感。馬刺是一支
難以令人討厭的球隊，但你可以的，如果你夠努力的話。我在過去數週已經累積了不少的
怨念。就縱容我一下吧，謝謝。)

Meanwhile, the Suns were like the John Belushi of basketball teams -- thrilling
, creative, inventive and loved by all, but ultimately, they couldn't sustain
what they were doing for more than a couple of years, and by the time it came
to a screeching halt, we were already wishing that things could return to the
way they were three years before. Like Belushi, the Suns were critically
acclaimed. Like Belushi (drugs), the Suns had an Achilles' heel (Robert Sarver)
. Like Belushi, the Suns tried to change their style near the end and it didn't
work out. Like Belushi, we will remember the Suns fondly, and every time we see
one of their old classic moments popping up on TV, we'll probably watch.
    這期間的太陽就像籃球界的John Belushi -- 令人興奮、創意無限而且深受大家喜愛
，但是最終，他們還是沒能堅持過去幾年以來的一貫球風，而當一切嘎然而止的時間到來
，我們多麼希望時光倒流，回到三年前這支太陽隊剛成型的那一刻。就像Belushi，太陽也
受到盛讚。就像Belushi沉溺於毒品，太陽也有其致命弱點Robert Sarver。就像Belushi，
太陽也在日落前試圖改變風格而且也失敗了。就像Belushi，這支太陽將會成為最甜蜜的回
憶之一，而每一次我們看到電視重播他們過往的經典畫面，我們可能都會忍不住駐足觀看
。

Nearly everyone regards the Shaq trade as the moment when PHOENIX (capital
letters to represent the fact the Suns stood out) turned into Phoenix (
lower-case letters, representing the fact that they were now just like any
other team), but that's not necessarily true. Already straddling the fence
between "run-and-gun Phoenix" and "more-conventional-than-you-think Phoenix,"
last summer's Grant Hill signing pushed them over the fence and made them
hopelessly normal, even if we didn't want to admit it. Great guy, great athlete
, phenomenally intelligent player, steal of a signing for the price ... and you
could yell "Pull!" every time Hill launches a 3. For a team that revolved
around high screens with Nash and Stoudemire, perfectly executed fast breaks
and high-percentage 3s, Hill subtly changed what the Suns were. You didn't have
to worry about defending him or Marion 25 feet from the basket -- two of the
five Suns on the court, by the way -- making it impossible for them to spread
the floor on those Nash/Stoudemire high screens.
    幾乎每個人都認為大歐交易成真那一刻起大鳳凰城(大寫字母是代表太陽的耀眼表現)
就變成了小鳳凰城(小寫字母則意味著太陽現在和其他球隊沒什麼兩樣了)，但那也不盡然
。就算我們不想承認，原本就已經騎坐在"跑轟風格的鳳凰城"和"比你認為更為傳統的鳳凰
城"牆頭的太陽在去年夏天和Grant Hill簽約時已經被推落牆下，變得無可救藥般的平庸。
偉大的人、偉大的運動員、才華洋溢的天才球員，用這樣經濟實惠的價格簽下堪稱一偷...
而且你可以在每一次Hill投進三分球時大喊"水啦！"。對於一支環繞著Nash和阿罵的高位
檔拆配合運作的球隊，Hill的加入卻不經意地改變了太陽。你不必擔心要去防守距離籃框
25呎遠的他或Matrix -- 順道一提，他們可是太陽場上五位球員中的兩位 -- 這將使得
Nash和阿罵的高位擋拆無法順利拉開對手的防守。

So what were they? On paper, Hill made up for his long-range shooting faults
with defense, leadership and all-around skills ... but did they want to get
better defensively? What's the difference between being a D-minus defensively
or a plus? Does it really matter? Two years ago, Jack McCallum called his
season-in-the-life Suns book "Seven Seconds or Less" because that was their
mentality -- they didn't care about getting defensive stops, only about forcing
a high-speed tempo and taking high-percentage shots as quickly as possible (
especially 3s). One of the great basketball chess matches happened in Round 1
of the '06 playoffs, when the Lakers were determined not to get caught up with
Phoenix's breakneck pace, only the Suns kept dangling their high-speed game
like a carrot -- "come on, run with us, it will be fun, come on" -- and the
Lakers kept fighting them off and slowing things down. Ultimately, they
couldn't hold the Suns off. That was the PHOENIX we knew and loved, but that "
Seven Seconds or Less" mentality had faded into Bolivian well before the Shaq
trade.
    所以他們到底表現如何？理論上，Hill用防守、領袖特質還有全面性的技巧補足了他
不擅長距離投射的缺點...但他們想要的是更好的防守？D-的防守和D+有多少分別？這點分
別很重要嗎？兩年前，Jack McCallum把他一生中最美好一季的太陽手冊稱為"七秒或更快"
，因為那是他們的進攻心法 -- 他們不在乎能否在防守端擋下對手，只關心能否將比賽帶
入快速節奏並在最短時間盡可能高效率地取分(特別是三分球)。最佳例子之一就是'06年季
後賽第一輪，當湖人矢志不隨鳳凰城快得足以扭斷脖子的節奏起舞，只有太陽始終追求著
他們最愛的高速球賽並以之為餌 -- "來嘛，跟我們一起跑嘛，很好玩的，來嘛" -- 而湖
人抵死不從並試圖讓比賽節奏慢下來。最終，他們仍擋不住速度飛快的太陽。那就是我們
熟知而深愛的大鳳凰城，但那"七秒或更快"的進攻方式在大歐交易成真前就已消失無影蹤
了。

Anyway, some of this territory has been covered in this space before (most
recently in the "15 What Ifs?" column from March), but I couldn't resist the
chance to steal Connelly's theory and give the Suns we knew and loved a proper
Viking funeral. They deserve critical acclaim. They deserve their own "Seven
Seconds or Less" DVD with one of those planted Hollywood blurbs on the top like
...
    無論如何，就算這篇文章的部分內容已經在這個專欄中寫過(大部分是寫在三月的"15
個的如果"裡面)，但我仍忍不住要借用Connelly的理論，給予我們熟知而深愛的太陽一場
適當而隆重的維京式喪禮。他們是該獲得高度讚揚。他們"七秒或更快"的獨特進攻風格是
該被整理為DVD特輯再冠上好萊塢式的廣告標語，例如...

"A nonstop thrill ride, I was jumping out of my seat!"
--Earl Dittman, Wireless Magazine
    "一場無盡的刺激之旅，我幾乎快從我的椅子上彈起來了！"
                                                      -- 厄爾‧迪特曼，無線雜誌

They also deserve to be raked through the coals for screwing up what could have
been a once-in-a-generation team. The D'Antoni-Nash alliance should have lasted
for as long as Nash's back held up -- maybe six years, maybe eight, maybe even
10 -- and instead, D'Antoni seems like a mortal lock to either resign or get
canned this summer. (In fact, I thought it was happening this week, which was
the main reason I wrote the column. Whoops.) Just don't blame the Shaq trade
for cutting D'Antoni's reign short. If you're playing the blame game, look at
the front office/ownership mistakes from 2004 to 2007. Had the Suns made two
different choices (just two!) and not been so concerned about the luxury tax,
they could have given us six to eight years of wildly entertaining basketball
and maybe even a dynasty. Collectively, the mistakes made by the Suns were
staggering. Check out the last four years of Phoenix teams, season by season,
and how they screwed up what should have been a historically good run.
    他們也該要受到嚴厲的譴責，因為他們搞砸了成為一個世代的代表球隊的機會。冷笑
話-飄髮哥的組合應該在Nash的背還撐得住的情況下一直持續下去的 -- 或許六年，或許八
黏，甚至是十年 -- 然而，今年夏天冷笑話似乎難逃辭職或被炒的命運了。(事實上，我認
為本週就會發生了，而這也是我寫這篇文章的原因，哎呀。)真的不用怪罪大歐交易案讓冷
笑話執教時間縮短了。如果你真要怪罪，那就怪制服組和球隊老闆在'04-'07年間所做的種
種錯誤決策吧。如果其中兩項錯誤決策不曾發生(只要兩項！)而且不要那麼在意會被徵收
豪華稅，他們或許就能帶給我們六到八年狂野而有趣的籃球，甚至還可以創造一個王朝。
整體來說，太陽高層所做的錯誤至為關鍵。我們來回顧一下過去四年的太陽隊，一季一季
分開來剖析，看看原本應該名留青史的太陽隊是如何一次又一次被搞砸的。

(Note to the Suns fans: You might want to throw down a couple shots of tequila
before you keep going. Just trust me.)
    (太陽球迷請特別注意：繼續往下看你可能會想把砸掉好幾杯的龍舌蘭，相信我。)

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 118.232.101.215
推 suana       :太陽的致命弱點Robert Sarver..........
推 thegod13    :我好懷念......
推 bassoonboy  :寫得好耶!!!!!!!!!!!!!
推 DragonCloud :這邊我給他滿分 說出我的心聲了 Q..Q
推 BrentBarry  :中肯XD
推 Qedosh      :Pulp Fiction是黑色追緝令
→ Qedosh      :The Wire是火線重案組
推 Lyndsey     :好文推一個
推 andy1203    :推阿><可是有點想繼續看><
推 buehrle     :我得說，把suns薪資搞爛D'Antoni也要負責任
推 chouyuu     :推
※ 編輯: kerrys          來自: 118.232.101.215      (06/08 12:13)
推 mirialut    :PUSH
推 NEWORDER    :好文
推 iamgay110   :把馬刺批評到爛,我們也只不過是在掩飾我們真正的渴望
→ iamgay110   :如果用暗黑兵法可以拿冠軍,我被批得再慘都會做