[外電] Rip Hamilton never walks alone (一)

[kerrys (台北不是我的家)]

    原文出處：
              http://0rz.net/121rP

--

Detroit, Jan. 15
    一月十五日，底特律

Like I said, waiting is a big part of my job. But there's waiting and then
there's waiting for Richard Hamilton. The Pistons' running joke is that when
Rip's involved, Greenwich Mean Time goes out the window. Rip shows up whenever
Rip feels like it. If he's supposed to be at a charity function at 5, feel
blessed if he shows up at 5:30. Meeting him for dinner at 8? Well, don't kill
yourself to get there.
    就如同我說過的，等待佔了我工作的一大部分。但你如果想見到RIP，除了等待還是只
有繼續等待一途。活塞陣中流傳著一則笑話，任何與RIP有關的事，格林威治標準時間(GMT
)都可以暫時擺到一邊，因為RIP老大只有在他高興露臉時現身。如果說他被預期會在五點
出席參加一個慈善活動，他在五點半出現你就該感到老天保佑。約他在八點共進晚餐？嗯
，我勸你可以不用白費力氣了。

Don't misunderstand. Rip Time doesn't apply to practice, games, or team flights
. He's often one of the first to arrive for basketball-related functions. He
knows what pays the bills. But the rest of the time you, me, and everybody else
has to adjust to his time zone.
    不要誤解了，RIP(不標準)時間並不適用於訓練、比賽或球隊專機等情形。任何與籃球
有關事務他通常是最早到場的其中一個，他很清楚什麼事情他該認真對待。但剩下的，關
於你、我或其他每一個人，都必須配合他的時區。

Hamilton's such an easygoing guy, it's hard to get him, well, going. He may
first want to run back another game of Madden football or round up his buddies
and load them into the Range Rover. No sense trying to figure it out. Just roll
with it.
    RIP真的是一個相當好相處的傢伙，不過很難跟他約時間，嗯，我也只是說他好相處而
已。他可能是第一個想要重溫另一款瘋狂橄欖球遊戲的或總是呼朋引伴並用他的愛車Range
Rover載著他們出遊。不用憑空想像了，欲知詳情，請往下看。
(譯按：瘋狂橄欖球是EA Sports出的遊戲，封面：http://0rz.net/851rb)

I arrive in Detroit too late to catch the Sixers-Pistons game. It's my first
DNP of the season. At about 10 o'clock, I give Josh Nochimson, who also happens
to be Rip's business manager, a call. He tells me Rip had 25 points and six
assists in the Pistons' 99-95 win. He doesn't know I saw the game on TV.
    我因為太慢到達底特律而錯過了七六人與活塞的對戰，這是我本季第一次錯過球賽。
在大概十點的時候，我打了通電話給也是偶然成為RIP經紀人的J.Nochimson。他告訴我RIP
在球隊以99比95獲勝的比賽中貢獻了25分和6次助攻，他並不知道我已經透過電視觀看了整
場比賽。

"I think everyone's about to get together," he says. "You want to hang out?"
    他說"我想每個人都想聚一聚，你也想一起嗎？"

"Yeah, what's the plan?"
    "好阿，有什麼計畫嗎？"

"I'll give you a call in about an hour. Let me call Rip and try to put
something together. If you don't hear from me, call me."
    "我先打個電話給RIP商量看看，大概一個小時之後再回你電話。如果你沒接到電話，
再打給我。"

"Solid."
    "一言為定。"

I can already imagine the excuses I'll hear tomorrow. An hour passes and, what
a surprise, my cell doesn't ring. I leave Nochimson a message, telling him to
call me in the morning. Then I order Domino's, watch Frankie Muniz tell Conan
O'Brien he's too short to get chicks and go to sleep. It's hard to tell if I
was a victim of Rip Time or not.
    我幾乎可以想像明天我將會聽到怎樣的藉口。一個小時過了，哇，真令人訝異耶，我
的手機響都沒響過。我留了個訊息給Nochimson，告訴他早上記得打個電話給我。之後我訂
了達美樂，看了F.Muniz告訴C.O'Brien說他因為太矮(163公分)而追不到女朋友後去睡覺，
我很難告訴你我這樣算不算RIP標準時間的受害者。
(譯按：作者所看的是O'Brien主持的談話性節目 - Late Night with Conan O'Brien，我
還找到節目片段，有興趣可以看一看順便練英聽，網址：http://0rz.net/6d1re)

You have to understand that as a writer, no matter how close you think you are
to an athlete, you're not a player. And if you're not a player, you can plan on
watching a lot of TV. Whenever I make plans with Hamilton or [Damon] Jones or
[Elton] Brand, whether to meet for lunch or some other activity outside the
arena, I'm never certain it's going to happen until I'm in the car sitting
right next to him. The more people swirling around an NBA star, the higher the
odds your plans will fall through. They've got too many distractions. And,
because they've got teams of handlers to perform every little chore for them,
the act of getting into a car and driving to meet someone is a monumental task.
It's much easier to hit the reset button on the PS2 and apologize the following
day. On top of that, there's the Confusion Factor. Maybe it's unique to me, but
when I'm coordinating plans with professional ballplayers, they seem to speak
another language.
    你必須知道，身為一個記者，不管你認為自己跟運動員有多親近，你仍然不是一個球
員。而如果你不是球員，你和球員約一約，很可能最後你還是只能待在飯店裡看電視。不
管我是約了RIP、D.Jones或是E.Brand，不管是約了要一起吃午餐或其他在球場以外的活動
，直到在車子裡我人坐在他們旁邊以前，我都不能確定事情會演變成怎樣。有越多人環繞
的NBA球星，他越有可能違約，因為他們有太多外務了。而且，因為他們有很多球隊指派的
經理人為他們排除一些煩人的雜務，跳進車子然後到約定地點去和某人見面變成了一個相
當困難的任務，按下PS2上的重設鈕然後安慰自己下一次會更好簡單多了。在那樣的前提下
，我還是感到困惑。也許只有我這麼想，不過當我向職業球員邀約時，他們似乎都說著另
一種語言。

Elton Brand and I once agreed to meet for lunch at Aunt Kizzy's Back Porch, a
soul food joint not far from his old apartment in Marina del Rey. I hooked up
with him in the parking lot outside the Clippers practice facility.
    Brand有一次和我約好要一起去離他位於遊艇港的老公寓不遠處的黑人食物專賣店 -
Aunt Kizzy's Back Porch吃午餐。我去快艇練習場外的停車場和他會合。

"I got something to do real quick," he said, "but just follow me and I'll meet
you there later."
    他說"我現在有件非得馬上去做不可的事，你跟我來，我待會再跟你吃飯。"

Now what the hell does that mean? Do I follow him or not? Before I could phrase
the question, Brand was pulling out of the parking lot.
    現在是什麼狀況？我要不要跟他去？在我回答好或不好前，Brand的車已經離開停車場
揚長而去，我連車尾燈都看不到。

"F--- it," I said and raced to my car.
    我暗暗罵了聲"X的"後也只能趕快跑回車上。

On another occasion, back when Jamal Crawford was playing in Chicago, I
arranged to meet him outside the team's practice facility and follow him to his
house. "I drive a black Escalade with rims," he said before disappearing into
the locker room. I sprinted to the player's parking lot and discovered six
black Escalades with rims. Now, for reasons I've made abundantly clear, I could
not call his cell phone to ask which one was his. I had to stake out the exit
instead. Because it was freezing outside and I feared frostbite, I ran to my
rental car first. The moment I got behind the wheel, I saw a black Escalade
flying by me in the rearview mirror. I had to decide right then and there if I
was going to chase it. Lose Crawford and the day is done. I drove behind the
Escalade for a good six miles before I noticed the Washington State license
plates. Being that Crawford was the only Bull from that state, I felt relieved.
And a little foolish.
    還有另外一次，在J.Crawford還在芝加哥打球的時候，我準備在球隊練習場外和他碰
頭然後跟他回家。他在進入球員休息室前說"我開一台黑色加框的Escalade。"我跑到停車
場一看，發現一共有六台輪胎加框的Escalade停在那邊。現在可好了，因為我已經說過沒
問題，所以我不好意思再打電話問他哪一台才是他的車，我只好緊盯著出口。因為外面實
在太冷了，我怕被凍傷，所以我先跑回租來的車子上。就在我回到車上的那時候，我從後
照鏡瞥到有台黑色的Escalade從旁邊疾駛而過，我必須馬上決定是否要追上去，因為如果
我追上去才發現跟錯車，那一天的辛苦就毀了。還好在我跟著開了六哩之後發現了那台車
子的車牌是華盛頓州的，一想到Crawford是當時公牛陣中唯一來自華盛頓州的球員，我終
於鬆了一口氣XD。

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 222.250.47.10
推 pennymarcus:推一下 這篇很有趣 還有三個部分對吧 K大 XD
推 fizeau:推 但是直接在這裡打字怎麼弄出顏色？
推 pennymarcus:另外 RIP在比賽前似乎不會是第一個到的球員 他沒那麼
→ pennymarcus:早到 菜鳥和幾個先發應該都比他早的樣子
推 shh8145:推
推 RAYBO:還真是好笑呀~NBA球星跟人約時 好像在說另一種語言...
推 studylance:推 RIP標準時間XD 他真的很隨性呀
※ 編輯: kerrys          來自: 210.241.111.125      (06/08 14:35)