推 HIbaby:感謝c大, 收穫很大 10/23 07:18
推 oplz:其實 can, may 這些都可以去掉 無損原意 10/23 07:53
推 chileno:同意oplz大的看法:) 10/23 09:21
推 biolenz:推薦這篇文章 10/25 03:38
※ 引述《HIbaby (嗨北鼻)》之銘言：
(恕刪)
: 文章
: --------------------------------------------------------------------
: Several materials - such as leaf, cloth or kraft paper-
: provide for cleaning in bathroom.
1. leaf建議改為leaves，或the leaf
2. cleaning可以加上personal
3. provide 可以不用加for。provide for的用法是provide a for b
為b提供a。
: Kraft paper have a benefit character, cheap,
^^^這裡建議加上"that is,"，用句點結尾。
: however, the skin touch and the water absorb ability is not so good.
1. 這裡建議另起一句。
2. skin touch是不是用sense of touch比較好？
3. water absorb ability建議改成the abilitiy of water absorption
本來想用absorbability，可是查了一下，這個字似乎指的是「可吸附性」，
看看有沒有專業人士來回答好了^^
: The length of fibers in paper materials determined comfortable skin touch.
這是事實，所以可以用現在式determine。
: Here, we development a novel structure style of paper, named toilet paper,
1. development是名詞，應該用developed。
2. novel structure style of paper? 不太懂這個意思。
3. "named..."我會用 "named as 'toilet paper'."耶。
好像也沒什麼理由，可是就覺得這樣比較順...
: which were constructed by short type fibers.
1. 這裡也是事實，所以應該也可以用are constructed
2. short type fibers? 是不是可以直接講short fibers？
: We provide the toilet paper in schools and department stores
: to estimate using feeling from user and analysis the water absorption.
1. to estimate?這是「估計」的意思。你是要說explore嗎？
2. 前半句我會寫成to explore users' feeling after use
3. analysis是名詞，應該是analyze。
4. 不太瞭解為什麼這邊還要分析吸水力？
: From the questionary results,
你是要說questionnaire嗎？問卷？
那應該說results of the questionnaires
: 99% people feel very good compared to past experience.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
建議改為good, comparing to...
past experience用"their past experiences"較好。
: Toilet paper can absorb water 10 times faster then kraft paper.
: Toilet paper may provide a new choice for people in bathroom.
1. 比較級要用than不是then喔。
2. 兩句主詞都是toilet paper，後面那句就可以用it代替，
也可以用關係代名詞結合，句型就會更漂亮：
Toilet paper, which can absorb water 10 times faster than
kraft paper, may provide a new choice for people in bathrooms.
請參考囉。
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※ 編輯: chileno 來自: 125.224.58.34 (10/22 22:09)