Re: [寫作班] 托福第4週 JennyQ-2

[dvlin (Dee)]

※ 引述《jennyQ (fitness)》之銘言：
: 1. It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built
:    in your neighborhood.  Do you support or oppose this plan?  Why?
:    Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
:    It would be so great to know that a new restaurant may be built in my
: neighborhood! It's an exciting news for me, an eating-out person. When it
: comes to eat, I'll bother with not knowing what to eat. For a full time
         eating ^^^^ *Consider "I always..." or "I often..."
: student with lots of studies to do, it is impossible to cook at home,
                       studying
: and there is not much time for eating leisurely. So, I'll be glad to
: welcome my new restaurant neighbor.
:    I am not a picky person about food, as long as the food is passable,
: I would finish it. Cons quently, no matter what the restautant sells, so
                         ^e
: leng as their price are reasonable for me, I can accept to have one new
  long                                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                                                   *Consider rephrasing this
: restaurant choice. Since it will be built in my neighborhood, I can save
: time from traffic.
:    However, having a new restaurant neighbor would be a bad idea if the
: possessor of the restaurant doesn't care about how to treat nearby
   owner
: environment.
: Dumping out garbages and clamor of the guests would be bothersome events
  ^^^^^^^^^^^              ^^^^^^                                   xxxxxx
                          the clamoring
*If you're using "clamor" as a noun, this could mean the restaurant is
"dumping out clamor", which makes no sense.  Therefore, use the gerund form.
: to neighbors.
    ^my
(A restaurant is not residential, and the owner(s) might not live there,
so the "residents" are your neighbors, not of the restaurant.)
:    Having a new lunch choice is fabulous to me. Only if the people working
                                                  Unless...
: in new restaurant pay attention to public affairs, I think there is no
                   ^don't                             ^don't          any
: reason for me to oppose this plan.
Written this way, this sentence might be a little easier to get.
: [ thanks for any advice ]
Your opinions are nicely expressed. Good article!

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◆ From: 99.231.10.180
※ 編輯: dvlin           來自: 99.231.10.180        (03/14 04:20)
推 jennyQ:thank you so much! I should be more deliberate.
推 jennyQ:what about " I can accept the idea to have one..."?
→ jennyQ:will it be more reasonable?
→ dvlin:"I can accept..." seems like you don't have an opinion
→ dvlin:about it either way.
推 jennyQ:why can't I use "possesor"?
→ dvlin:How about "I like the idea of having another restaurant
→ dvlin:choice."?
→ jennyQ:so, can I convert it to "agree" or something else?
→ jennyQ:thanks. ^^ I got it.
→ dvlin:Using "possessor" not wrong.  However, using a more
→ dvlin:obscure word over a mor common one is not good practice.
推 jennyQ:quite to the point! >.< I'll be careful about it.
→ dvlin:                    more