2004/03_Women's Joogang 志燮島的日子 (小蘇親筆文章)
蘇志燮 --- 志燮島的日子
(Women's Joongang 2004年3月號)
發文: Naver.com
韓譯英: Chungbaji
英譯中: cindymmin(http://www.sojisub.tw)
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他就像座孤島.
一座遺世獨立的小島, 卻以友善的懷抱歡迎那些循著溫暖香甜春風而來的舞蝶,
28年來, 經歷過最狂暴的風浪, 最劇烈的海風與嚴峻的季節變化, 志燮島一一撐過來了.
如今, 他終於能夠面帶微笑, 釋懷地回首過去, 暢談在志燮島上曾經發生過的種種.
我(蘇志燮)想以輕鬆一點的方式開始這篇文章.
我今年28歲.
最近我有幾個煩惱:
1. 能不能如期拿到大學文憑 (參與戲劇演出的關係，我缺課得很嚴重)
2. 最近幾部戲以來，外界謠傳我與另一位女演員的緋聞甚囂塵上
至於要談到我本身...
我對流行有足夠品味, 能將同一頂很棒的帽子拿來搭配任何風格.
而好身材算是我的資產之一. (全都要感謝過去多年的游泳訓練)
我常被誤認為家境很好的樣子, 即使我的童年過得其實並不寬裕.
然而，對於這樣的誤解我一點都不介意. 高中的時候，我在全國體育競賽
的游泳項目贏了一面銅牌. 去年的SBS演技大賞中我也拿了兩座大獎.
即便如此，我仍然會在領獎前雀躍不已，而領獎後感到不知所措.
我很想演一個像[人民公敵(2002)]裡面那樣的大反派.
同時, 我計畫在35歲左右出國去念[飯店管理].
§ 小島與燈塔 §
曾經有人問我, 有沒有想過結束生命?
我用一個簡短的句子避開了這個問題: "說沒有是騙人的."
我不確定對方是否查覺到我眼中輕微的顫抖.
'死亡'在我的意識中是伴隨著'母親'這個詞一起來的.
而諷刺的是, 是'母親'這個詞讓我不去想'死亡'.
八年以前, 我的母親必須日復一日辛苦工作,
才能勉強支付我們那間要價500萬押金和每月30萬月租的破屋子.
我是母親的獨子, 在大學裡主修游泳.
自從我和承憲哥(一個我最好的朋友)一起擔任STORM平面模特兒之後,
才終於開始分攤母親的重擔. (STORM是一家牛仔褲的製造與販售商.)
即使家中有兩份收入, 在當時仍然無法減少既有的負債.
為了還清債務, 我們得借更多錢來填那個無底洞. 那是一種惡性循環.
當時眼睜睜看著母親為了幾乎無法承受的生活重擔而受苦,
我曾經恨不得自己死掉算了.
但同時, 我也想到母親努力活著唯一的目的, 就是我.
所以我必須咬牙忍住, 將'死'這個念頭從腦海中擦掉.
全憑藉著母親給我的鼓勵, 我才有辦法走過來.
我的母親就像志燮島的一座燈塔.
雖然燈塔無法照亮整座小島, 卻能向著漆黑可怕的海上發出信號,
阻止外來船隻的碰撞, 燈塔是以這樣的方式捍衛著小島.
然而當母親盡全力保護著我的同時, 我卻連一句最簡單的"謝謝"都沒向她說...
有時候我會和母親一起喝酒. 有一次她看著我, 問我:
"志燮啊, 有時候連我都不知道你是什麼樣的人, 心裡在想些什麼..."
那一刻我才真正了解, 即便是對於自己的母親來說, 我一直都是座孤島.
一直以來, 我將燈塔的付出視為理所當然, 以為日復一日發射著信號是燈塔的職責.
燈塔的存在給了我很大的慰藉, 而我卻忽略了一件事: 燈塔是全心全意只為了小島而存在
著的.
和過去那些日子比起來, 現在生活好過多了. 感覺像是漫步雲端那樣輕飄飄的.
我做著喜歡的演戲工作, 賺取很不錯的收入. 更重要的是, 我有了非常愛護我的支持者.
雖然還沒向燈塔說過"我愛您", 但我真心希望從今起, 我的母親能好好享受這個變得更好
,
更豐富寬裕的志燮島. 我要提供給母親一個能安穩休息的地方.
§ 隱祕的小島 - 志燮島 §
志燮島上充滿著希望與夢想.
曾經有一些人在島上短暫停留過, 但大部分時間還是只有我獨自一人. 這也是我常作夢的
原因.
因為享受獨處的感覺, 我能在家窩上好幾個月. 每天早上起床, 吃過早餐, 很放鬆地看上
幾部電影.
聽聽各種音樂, 也上上網. 等到這些事通通做完一遍, 就會發現一天已經幾乎要過完了.
如果不去特別注意的話(大部分的時候都是如此), 我發現幾個月就這樣過去了.
我和身邊幾個好朋友非常親近, 但要結交新朋友仍得花上一段不短的時間.
雖然如此, 這和八年前的我(剛開始當模特兒時)相比起來, 已經進步不少了.
我是在Storm模特兒試鏡會上認識宋承憲, 他現在是我最好的朋友.
不用說, 當時我表現得很有距離. 當他問我幾年次時, 我只簡短回答他: "77."
現在回想當時的情況, 他一定覺得很尷尬.
在第一次拍攝工作結束之後, 整個團隊一起出去玩, 輕鬆了幾個鐘頭.
那時候我才了解他是個很好的人, 而且想和他作朋友.
因為很想打破那尷尬的氣氛卻不知從何下手.
於是我跟著他進了洗手間, 然後沒頭沒腦地問他:
"我們快要變成明星了嗎?"
過去我住在仁川, 也沒有代步的交通工具, 又想節省往來的計程車資.
承憲知道了, 就收留我在他房間過夜.
我認為他是讓志燮島成功和外界接觸的一大因素.
§ 遺世獨立的小島 §
能夠詮釋別人的人生真的是很棒的經驗.
從[三男三女], [王陵的大地], [模特兒的故事], [律師事務所], [玻璃鞋], [正在戀愛
中],
[美味關係], [千年之愛]...一直到[峇里島的故事], 每當我一一列出曾經參演過的戲劇
,
第一時間通常換來對方驚訝的表情. 然後, 緊接著更是普遍的反應: "喔, 對!! 我記得你
有演!"
即使大多數的戲都頗受歡迎, 而我在裡頭也擔任戲份不輕的角色, 但沒有我主動提起的話
,
人們似乎不會記得有我.
我想應該是SBS的綜藝節目[美麗人生](橫渡大韓海峽特輯), 才讓不少觀眾認識到我.
為了健康的因素我很小就開始游泳.
在受了11年的訓練之後, 我因為將來沒有生涯發展的機會而放棄游泳.
那時我頭也不回地離開了. 我從不期望游泳會為我開啟通往成功的路.
但諷刺的是, 在我選擇放棄之後, 游泳卻成為我演藝生涯的一大推手.
在每一部戲開拍之後, 會有一個新的過客擱淺在志燮島上.
接著他便開始妝點豐富這座小島.
等到拍攝工作結束, 過客就會因為外界的救援而離開小島.
目前在我島上的訪客是[峇里島的日子]之仁旭.
小島vs燈塔, 與單親家庭的母子關係, 其實有很多的共同點.
只要有夢想, 貧困絕不會持久.
我最喜歡的數字是51, 離100還有很大一段差距, 但是已經過半了.
憑藉著這51%的可能性, 仁旭正在我的島上尋找著希望與夢想!
韓譯英: Chungbaji
英譯中: cindymmin
======================
<英文版 English Version>
======================
So Ji Sub, What happened on JS Island
(Women's Joongang 2004/March)
He is like a deserted island. An island that is isolated from the rest of the
world yet can not be more welcoming
and friendly to a butterfly which has been drawn to the island by sweet and
warm spring breeze.
For twenty eight years, JS Island has survived toughest waves, high winds and
rigorous seasonal changes.
He now can nostalgically look back and talk about the things happened in his
island with a smile.
I (JS) would like to start this story a little bit casually. I'm twenty eight
years old.
A Few of my worries these days are (1) whether or not I can graduate from the
University on time
due to tons of absences which are the direct results of my acting career and
(2) the gossips involving
me and the counterpart actress in recent dramas. And if I can say so about
myself, I do have
fashion sense to match the perfect hat to any style and my toned-up body is
one of my assets
(thanks to all those swimming trainings in my earlier days).
Despite of my difficult childhood, I’ve been often told that I'm
noble-looking. And, I don't mind
people's misconceptions at all. When I was in high school, I earned the
bronze medal for the
swimming race (breast stroke) from the Korean National Competition. And, I
received two
prestigious awards from last year's SBS Acting Awards. Despite all these, I
still get excited
before receiving an award and feel awkward afterwards. I would like to play a
role of serious
villain just like the one in Public Enemy (Korean movie). Also, I do have
plans to go aboard
to study hotel management when I’m about thirty five years old.
<Tiny Island and Lighthouse>
One once asked me if I ever wanted to end my life. I avoided the question by
answering with
a simple sentence, “It would be a lie if I say never.” But I wondered if he
captured subtle
shivers in my eyes. The word “death” dawns on me along with the word “
mother.”
In the mist of ironies, the word “mother” makes me not think about the word
“death.”
Eight years ago, my mom had to work really hard everyday to keep our modest
nest which
cost us a deposit of 5,000,000 won and a monthly rent of 300,000 won. I was
her only son,
a college student majoring in swimming. I started to share her burdens when I
started modeling
with Seunghun (one of my best friends) for Stom, blue jeans manufacturer and
distributor.
Even with two persons bringing in incomes, it seems almost impossible to
reduce our existing debts.
To pay off the debts, we needed to borrow more money. It was a vicious
circle. Watching my mom
suffering from unbearable burdens of life, I thought of committing suicide.
Then, I also thought of
the purpose of my mom's life... It was me. So, I had to suck it up and erase
the word “death”
from my mind. With the inspirations from my mom, I was able to move on, again
…
My mom is like a lighthouse to JS Island. The lighthouse can't light up the
whole island, but it
sure can guard the island from any possible collisions with foreign ships by
sending out signals
through the dark and fearful ocean. While my mom was trying her best to
protect me, I was just
being there without saying a simple “thank you.”
Once in a while, my mom and I drink together. One day when we were drinking
together,
she looked at me and asked “Jisub, sometimes I'm not sure who you are and
what you
are thinking.” At that moment, I realized that I'd been an isolated island
even from my own mother.
I had just taken the lighthouse for granted. I'd assumed that it was the
lighthouse’s duty to
sending out the signals everyday. The existence of the lighthouse had given
me a lot of comforts,
yet I’d neglected the fact that the lighthouse existed solely for the
island.
Compared to those days, we are doing much better. It feels like I'm walking
in the clouds.
I make decent income while I'm doing something that I like, acting. On top of
that, I have
my fans who love me so dearly. Though, I haven’t said “I love you” to the
lighthouse.
I sincerely hope that my mom enjoys the improved and abundant JS Island from
now on.
I would like to provide my mom a place to rest.
<Concealed Island, JS Island>
JS Island is full of hopes and dreams. A few people stay over for a short
while, but mostly
I'm alone. And that is why I get to dream. As I enjoy being alone, I can stay
in for several
months. I get up and have breakfast. I watch a couple of videos and then just
chill out. I
listen to all kinds of music and surf the Internet. After I finish with all
these stuffs, I find that
the day is almost over. If I don't pay close attention (most of the times, I
don't), I realize
that several months has passed by.
I keep pretty close relationships with my existing friends; however, it takes
me a while to
make a new friend. Though, I've made some progress compared to eight years
ago
(when I first start modeling.) I met Song Seung Hun, currently my best
friend, for the first time
at the model audition for Storm. Needless to say, I was very business like
when we first met.
When he asked me what year I was born, my answer was very short and to the
point.
I said, “77.” Now that I think about it, he must have felt very awkward.
After the first shooting, the crew had a little happy hour and then I
realized that he was
a very nice person who I wanted to be friends with. I wanted to break the ice
between us
but didn't know how. I followed him to a men's room and I asked him a
question out of nowhere.
“Are we going to be superstars?”
I used to live in Incheon without a car and wanted to save cab fares. Knowing
this, Seunghun
let me stay over at his room. I think that he is one of the big factors to
the successful breaking
out of JS Island into the world.
<Deserted Island, a place to stop by>
Living someone else's life is definitely a fascinating experience. “Three
Men and Three Women”,
“WangRung99”, “Model”, “Law Firm”, “Glass Shoes”, “We are dating
now",
“Delicious Propose”, “Love for Thousand Years”,… and “Bali”………
Whenever I list out
all the dramas I played in, the first reaction I get is surprised looks on
their faces. Then, they
follow up with the second common response, “Oh, you are right. I remember
you from those dramas.”
Even though most of the dramas were popular and I played somewhat significant
roles, people
don't seem to remember me without me pointing out for them...
I think it was SBS Beautiful Life (the episode of crossing the Straits of
Korea) which made me
known to a lot of people. I started swimming when I was little due to health
reasons. I gave up
swimming after 11 years of trainings due to lack of chances for career
development. I did not
look back. I never expected that swimming would guide me to the success.
Ironically, swimming
helped my career in the entertainment industry after I gave it up.
At the beginning stage of every drama, a new visitor docks a ship at JS
Island. The visitor then
starts decorate the island. At the end of the drama, the visitor gets rescued
by outside world
and leaves the island. The current visitor is Inwook from the drama Bali.
there are a lot of
resemblances between an island with a lighthouse and a son who raised by a
single mom.
Poverty can never last if one has dreams. My favorite number is 51. Still a
long way to reach 100,
yet 51 is over the half-point. With the 51% of possibility, Inwook is
searching for hopes and dreams
in my island.
(translated by Chungbaji)
轉自燮逅摯愛:)
http://www.sojisub.tw/viewtopic.php?t=1106
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