精華區beta joke 關於我們 聯絡資訊
從前有一隻公螳螂跟一隻母螳螂, 他們兩隻是從小一起長大的青梅竹馬,感情很好。 有一天,母螳螂突然對著到她家來找她的公螳螂說: 「我媽已經幫我訂了一門親事,你以後別再來找我了」 公螳螂聽了恍如晴天霹靂一般,但又不肯接受這個事實。 仍是每天守候在母螳螂的家門口,關心她的每一件事情, 獵來她最愛的蚱蜢,編織她最喜愛的枯葉裝。 就這樣日復一日,母螳螂的態度依然冷淡, 距離她所說的婚期也一日一日逼近,公螳螂終於下定了決心。 就在母螳螂結婚的前一天,母螳螂出門去準備婚禮所需要的東西, 沒想到出門一過轉角,就被矇住了口鼻,昏迷了過去。 等她清醒時,發現自己居然被強暴了,而犯人正是那隻青梅竹馬的公螳螂, 此刻四肢無力的騎在她的身上。 母螳螂哭了,她流著淚問他:「你為什麼要做出這種事情?」 「因為我愛妳。」 母螳螂情緒崩潰,揮舞著雙鐮往地上猛砍。 「你知道不知道你到底做了些甚麼!」 「我明白。」 「不!你根本就不明白!」 「我明白。」 「我也是一直愛著你的阿!但我們是不能有結果的!身為一隻母螳螂,一交配完後, 我就必須把交配對象吃掉阿!!我不願意失去你!!」母螳螂歇斯底里的吼著。 公螳螂吃力地抬起頭:「我明白,我全都明白。」 「那你為什麼還...」 「因為我愛妳。」 「正因為我愛妳,所以我選擇了這麼做。要我看著妳與別的螳螂步入禮堂,我做不到, 只要一想到會有其他螳螂騎在妳身上,我比死了還難過。」 「所以,我只能這樣做。」 「吃了我吧,這樣,我們就能永遠的在一起了。」 公螳螂閉著眼睛,垂下他虛弱無力的觸角,靜靜等候死亡的降臨。 母螳螂抽蓄著,眼淚模糊了她的複眼。她沒想到,自以為是的溫柔, 卻是對公螳螂最殘酷的對待。 她顫抖著,一口一口地吃掉了奄奄一息的公螳螂。 她知道,完事後的公螳螂,是無法再活下去的了... 她緩慢地站起身子,感受到體內充滿了力氣,彷彿公螳螂正給予著她勇氣。 從樹蔭縫隙灑下的陽光,象徵著生命與希望。 「這樣,我們就能永遠的在一起了。」 母螳螂揮手擦乾眼中的淚滴, 然後她眼睛就被割傷了。 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.227.179.14
SakurabaGoku:看在你是帽子 勉強推一下 03/23 22:08
k870357: .. 靠北喔XD 03/23 22:12
nvalue:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:13
pH5:他們忘記交配了 03/23 22:14
母螳螂已經被強暴了!!!
gn00399745:這個好好笑 03/23 22:14
XB:友好孝道XDDDD 03/23 22:19
satanpeace:XDDD 03/23 22:20
gunny2205:XD 03/23 22:20
RSoul:XDDDDDD 03/23 22:21
gungunit:靠杯笑了 03/23 22:22
hope399331:三小XDDDDD 03/23 22:22
gungunit:四樓也好好笑XDDDD 突破盲點 03/23 22:23
x56565656:有北爛到有推 03/23 22:24
※ 編輯: ntcpe27 來自: 61.227.179.14 (03/23 22:24)
usaresident:靠背阿XDDD 03/23 22:24
HeartBreaker:哪來的盲點啊XDD 03/23 22:25
RainCoffee:           哎呀!(瞎) 03/23 22:26
BeYaaaaaaaa:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:26
sul3vu86:好靠北 03/23 22:26
Connec:幹XDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:26
Qmou5566:有笑欸 03/23 22:28
namcp:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:29
venvendoggy:靠北喔XDD 03/23 22:29
EucalyDog:XDDD 03/23 22:30
papaya123:1哈 我一直看成蟑螂 03/23 22:31
koreansuck:xdddddddddddd 03/23 22:32
sniper2824:很煩ㄟ!!!!!! 03/23 22:32
MotleyCrue:XDD 03/23 22:34
izual:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:34
johnyang:XDDDDDD 03/23 22:34
azen:笑點原來在後面 XDDD 03/23 22:35
Bagwell:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:35
tony86069:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:35
liaon98:結局不錯XD 03/23 22:35
ilyvonne:god dang it! 03/23 22:37
Cerberus5:靠杯...前面是啥鬼 03/23 22:37
joey89116:XDDDDDDDDD有好笑 03/23 22:38
s8910139:超好笑 03/23 22:39
eddy50811:文藝推 03/23 22:39
jyrpg:看到擦眼淚有猜到 不過還是很好笑XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:41
howard1110:是在溫馨什麼啦 03/23 22:42
yesman2210:e04 哩金謀寮ㄋㄟ 03/23 22:46
kimimskimi:靠杯喔 XDDD 03/23 22:46
lzylzy123:超好笑xDDDDD 03/23 22:46
Jarcat:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:46
ms0561188:XDDD 03/23 22:46
maerdimer:XDDDDDD 03/23 22:46
fakeayumi:讓我好好感動一下不行嗎??什麼最後一句嘛QQ 03/23 22:46
winner27:........................ 03/23 22:50
pololo61201:靠北喔XD 03/23 22:50
minstay:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:51
nokid:把我的眼淚還給我ㄚ E04 哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!!! 03/23 22:51
upu:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 前面很感動欸 03/23 22:52
yst8577:結局是啥鬼啦 03/23 22:53
Dducky:XDDDDDD 03/23 22:54
emon27927:內牛滿面推~ 03/23 22:54
Ruruto49:結局超靠杯XDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:54
OPI99:xD 03/23 22:56
ThreeNG:把我的眼淚還給我 Q□Q 03/23 22:56
terrence000:有笑有推 03/23 22:57
hero770624:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:58
s0857168:你後面要補上寓意 這樣就能發到FB上了 03/23 22:58
LoCKeR941010:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 22:59
valley7788:XXDDDD 03/23 23:01
bernon:你想了多久啊 03/23 23:02
freedom1124:噴了 03/23 23:02
io45for222:XDDDD 03/23 23:02
caferice:XDDD 03/23 23:03
soga0309:XDDDDDDD 03/23 23:03
magan0117:靠北喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:04
cabii:靠杯歐~ 03/23 23:04
Michaelpipen:XDDDD 03/23 23:04
lithaimo:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:05
noitcidda:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:06
cup0226:XD 03/23 23:06
chia3120:有笑有推 03/23 23:06
LionaSax:以後後面要說FB哏。 03/23 23:08
yingsiou:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 什麼東西阿 03/23 23:09
Zeroyeu:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd 03/23 23:09
sed99975:哈哈哈哈 FB文 03/23 23:09
sing4520:幹這三小 03/23 23:10
ristvakbean:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:10
poncn8513: 03/23 23:11
momocatonly:XDDDDDDD我眼睛也好痛喔 03/23 23:11
tovshang:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:11
hivgay:後勁 03/23 23:12
tp950016:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:12
fggdog:靠邀 笑噴 03/23 23:13
zaq1qwer:XD 03/23 23:13
eric830322ok:是螳螂噢!我從頭到尾都看成蟑螂=___= 03/23 23:14
Dducky:推樓上= =我看完整個系列文才發現是螳螂不是蟑螂.......... 03/23 23:14
OHLALALALA:你跟fleeaaa一樣有說笑話的天分 03/23 23:15
l87278101:結局神展開啊XDDDDDDD 噴笑XDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:17
lordder:哈哈哈好靠北 03/23 23:17
leemt:結局超展開XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:20
doledo310:有笑推 03/23 23:21
featherable:看到複眼我就笑了... 03/23 23:21
airwaves06:有笑有推 03/23 23:22
YuuKei:XD 03/23 23:24
wolfking623:XD 03/23 23:24
acentric:好...好感人喔 03/23 23:24
eji108: 03/23 23:24
Jackwin:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:25
Badonkadonk:我很入戲誒= = 03/23 23:26
duane:朝聖推XDXD 03/23 23:26
Deesu:超煩Xdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd 03/23 23:26
thund:好讚XD 03/23 23:26
amy29585028:無言 03/23 23:29
sunnykai:心情正好超悶,看完後笑的很舒暢,大推 03/23 23:29
mic741852:搞啥阿XDDDD 03/23 23:30
lolic:沙小拉xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:30
rabbit7630:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD好溫馨 03/23 23:30
steve8130477:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:31
openbestbook:就可已死 03/23 23:31
ted40905:死得真好 03/23 23:32
AAAdolph:還以為是變雙眼皮XD 03/23 23:33
ILPHYS:小小小XDDDDD 03/23 23:34
p56805:太屌拉~ 03/23 23:34
wangmytsai:結局三小啦XDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:34
wenroujason:你好懂喔 ㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏ 03/23 23:34
s92228:這是FB文體吧XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD\ 03/23 23:35
kusoyaya:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:37
houchungqq:文筆不錯推 03/23 23:38
kissz1z2:我覺得看成蟑螂的比較好笑XD 03/23 23:39
qscxz: NOT BAD! 03/23 23:40
fly0609:這什麼超展開啦XDDDD 03/23 23:41
becausemusic:XDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:42
dingding45:靠盃 03/23 23:43
Freeran:靠杯喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:43
aggressorX:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 很久沒有這麼溫馨的笑話了 03/23 23:45
mabikerry:結局是殺小拉XDDD 03/23 23:45
to3906:怎麼沒來個角色設定XDDD 03/23 23:46
Adadadadada:我也看成蟑螂....看完推文才發現看錯 03/23 23:46
kyshiaw:畫面獵奇! 03/23 23:48
iversonj:這結局 XDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:52
akon84023:殺洨啦XDDDD 煩耶= = 03/23 23:52
kingxyzt:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:53
pH5:居然被強暴了!! 03/23 23:55
forlorn1127:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/23 23:59
BrightPeak:眼睛好痛 03/23 23:59
al0313:幹 最後一句超靠杯XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 00:03
windguess:XD 03/24 00:03
JOJOttt:哈哈哈哈哈這超好笑XDD 03/24 00:07
Spontania:快笑死了XDDD 03/24 00:07
Neilhere:我才在想說蟑螂為什麼要吃頭~XD 03/24 00:11
EricXD:靠杯逆喔幹XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 00:15
a5889774:噓你害我噴了一口茶... 03/24 00:17
xxx128328776:XDDDDDDD我笑了 03/24 00:17
Del2000b:XD 03/24 00:19
djyunjie:Triple 梗 03/24 00:23
agi1357:XD 03/24 00:25
heaventear:看到推文才發現是螳螂 想說奇怪蟑螂也會吃交配對象喔 03/24 00:25
owlman:靠北喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 00:26
dolls3969:佩服你的想像力 03/24 00:27
shi21:XD 03/24 00:27
taco20:那黃雀呢? 03/24 00:31
samhou6:靠背XDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 00:32
lateboy:基掰 03/24 00:32
oberdi:靠~~我居然有畫面 03/24 00:35
lolucky531:最後是怎樣XDDD 03/24 00:36
Liumi:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 00:38
a784572000:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 00:38
james41015:靠盃喔 03/24 00:40
KingInTea:三小 03/24 00:41
hsnurabbit:.................................. 03/24 00:45
ww123654789e:笑了 XDDDD 03/24 00:49
halsutine:干 XDDDD 03/24 00:51
vi000246:我還在想最後一句怎麼來的 原來是倒數第二句 03/24 00:52
xxx22088:笑死我..... 03/24 00:52
pigmoo:笑到沒力 03/24 00:56
Number41:XD 03/24 00:58
z124a:推 為啥不用刀背擦xd 03/24 01:01
blackman5566:靠北喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 01:02
CFfisher:靠www 03/24 01:02
adairchang:靠北XDDDDDDDD 03/24 01:06
GaryFeng:靠杯喔XDD 03/24 01:12
ElvesDaniel:北七XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 01:27
ttesing8990:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 01:42
nightisright:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 01:46
kevinfu619:飛天螳螂快用刀背攻擊!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 01:50
odin0204:超北爛哈哈 03/24 01:52
hank11235813:.... 03/24 02:01
catherine9:四樓比較好笑 03/24 02:05
sodawang:幹XDDDDDDDD 03/24 02:12
Ianduck:幹XDDD 03/24 02:18
Ricrollp:神結尾 03/24 02:43
virmigac:酷XDDDDDDDDD 03/24 02:53
noneforyou:XDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 03:23
rabbit0531:哈哈哈哈 03/24 03:23
a20351:你鋪梗鋪這麼久幹嘛XDDDD 03/24 03:25
willie1987:殺小 完全不搭阿 03/24 03:34
yc44:Haha 03/24 03:59
iloveben75:靠北喔 03/24 04:26
a19870329:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 04:41
t29326601:原來不是FB文ww 03/24 05:41
Comebuy:幹 XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 07:05
space20021:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 07:50
kerbi:LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!! 03/24 08:18
cub:一直想到鐵線蟲 03/24 08:31
chi800117:XDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 09:21
awind:我一直看成兩隻蟑螂XDD 03/24 09:25
danny50414:看到鐮刀才發現是螳螂 03/24 09:42
lonlife99:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 10:17
pomelo017: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 10:30
zeta731115:只有我看不懂嗎.... 03/24 10:32
Harute:靠北喔 03/24 10:36
a2698022:有笑有推XDDDDDDDD 03/24 10:46
jennydyj:靠杯....XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 10:56
lingling0000:文藝螳螂 XDDDDDDDD 03/24 11:02
dnkofe:XDDDDDDD 03/24 11:12
KJFC:割出雙眼皮 03/24 11:27
s913065:XDDD 03/24 11:31
walkingstick:靠杯XDDDD 03/24 11:39
jtseng1126:三小啦XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 11:46
zukidelko:然後他就有雙眼皮了XDDD 03/24 11:49
riversbest:XDDDD 03/24 12:01
david28941:超靠杯XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 12:09
genius851126:XD可以喔 03/24 12:37
allnun:靠北啦XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 12:49
duo751111:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 13:03
adobeteru:XDDDDDDDDDd 03/24 13:34
g1409:鋪了三頁的梗XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 13:36
johnny1300:XDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 13:37
bowxrk:不推不行~XD 03/24 13:41
mark786110:你大猩猩喔!!XDD 頗有銀魂的FU 03/24 14:04
friendever:不錯看喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 14:06
FoxQ:XD 03/24 14:20
chiulove:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 14:36
checcc:我一直以為是蟑螂看到推文才知道是螳螂 03/24 14:45
Allenk:把感動還我!!!! 03/24 14:53
k8123kevin:有效友推 03/24 16:14
klinmmm:靠北喔 XDDDD 03/24 16:31
dclxvi:告杯喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 16:59
pchome282000:超好笑 03/24 17:31
linlin24:蟑螂!!!!!!!!XDDD             原來是螳螂 03/24 17:34
chungyiju:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 17:39
l17:看成蟑螂+1 03/24 17:58
zzxxzz:靠北喔XD 03/24 17:58
theeeht:朝聖推 03/24 17:59
lucas01:不好看 03/24 17:59
jingyesi:靠邀喔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 18:01
bbb55952000:假文青給推 說好的眼淚呢 03/24 18:07
xmy4725:靠北XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 18:10
wowkg21:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 18:29
yufw1023:最後超讚!!!!! 03/24 18:32
brianboy:XD 03/24 18:36
m791226:哈哈 哈 03/24 18:47
ex951753:......... 03/24 18:57
together911:太好笑太好笑了 03/24 19:01
crazydomo:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 19:59
babaluu:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 20:28
tony77998:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/24 20:51
nekaki:結局還OK 03/24 21:35
cutemonkey19:XDDDD 03/24 21:55
qlinyuhn:哈哈哈 03/24 22:55
aven01:結局 XDDD 03/24 23:41
chris0629:XD 03/24 23:49
Yie:XDDD 03/25 00:03
Huberta:XDDDDDDDD 03/25 00:46
GGisme:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/25 01:39
cs9810931:XDDDDDDDDD 03/25 01:46
salqv:太哭爸了… 03/25 02:45
dennisray:好笑在哪 03/25 02:56
dennyhgtfrd:靠北快笑死了XD 03/25 02:59
inntran:XD 03/25 03:06
i5063002im:很煩xdddddd 03/25 07:54
s1s2s3s4:溫馨 03/25 08:44
a31906109:.......... 03/25 09:17
o0991758566:幹 後勁很強 看完過了好幾秒才笑XDDDDD 03/25 09:39
yenchen1994:nice 03/25 11:41
anyhowcrew:哈囉 !! 03/25 12:23