Music : Alan Menken
Hyrics : Howard Ashmen
Performed by : Richard White [Gaston] , Jesse Corti [LeFou] , Rex Everhardt ,
[Maurice] , et al.
( [ Maurice ] : Help ! Someone help me !
[ Tavren keeper ] : Maurice ?
[ Maurice ] : Please ! Please , I need your help ! He's got her - he's got her
locked in the dungeon !
[ Lefou ] : Who ?
[ Maurice ] : Belle . We must go . N-not a minute to lose !
[ Gaston ] : Whoa ! Slow down , Maurice . Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon ?
[ Maurice ] : A beast ! A horrible , montrous beast !
[ Patron 1 ] : Is it a big beast ?
[ Maurice ] : Huge !
[ Patron 2 ] : With a long , ugly snout ?
[ Maurice ] : Hideously ugly !
[ Drinker 3 ] : And sharp , cruel fangs ?
[ Maurice ] : Yes ! Yes ! Will you help me ?
[ Gaston ] : All right , old man . We will help you out .
[ Maurice ] : You will ? Oh , thank you , thank you , thank you !
[ Tavren keeper ] : Crazy old Maurice .
[ Patron ] : He is always good for a laugh .
[ Gaston ] : Crazy old Maurice , hmmm ?
Crazy old Maurice . Hmmm . )
LeFou , I'm afraid I've been thinking .
[ LeFou ] : A dangerous pastime .
[ Gaston ]: I know .
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father .
And his sanity is only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head is turing
Since I look at the loony , old man
See , I've primised myself I'd merry to Belle
And right now I'm evolving plan
( If I ...{whisper}
[ LeFou ] : Yes ?
[ Gaston ] : Then we ...{whisper}
[ LeFou ] : No ! Would she ? ...
[ Gaston ] : {whisper} Guess !
[ LeFou ] : Now I've got it !
[ Both ] : Let's go ! )
No one plot like Gaston
[ Gaston ] : Take cheap shots like Gaston
[ LeFou ] : Plans to persecute harmless crackpot like Gaston
[ Chorus ] : So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating
My what a guy !
Gaston
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