neighbors, nobody loves you like we do. neighbors, your government has
triumphed in finally making you a public fit for the 21st century. never
before has a governing body shown so much concern for the economic well-
being of its subjects. today we have insulated you from countless factions
who threaten your financial viability; such as the poor; the idealistic
foreigners still clinging to their childish notions of social welfare; why,
you're even kept uninformed of useless propagandist journalism that
reports alleged violations of human rights (we all know they wouldn't have
been punished if they hadn't been doing something wrong!!). and who better
to dispense such blatantly evident factoids but a self-appointed authority
like myself? acid rain is a thing of the past.... too many possible causes,
too little significance for our modern thinking public, besides industrial
manufacturing is at an all-time low anyway, who needs those narrow minded
laborers, too many mouths to feed, hehe, and too much burden on the
payroll! who needs 'em here in the land of the free time. some other ass-
backward country will give us what we need by exploiting its uneducated
children anyway. the internet has expanded our ability to pacify average
americans better than ever by offering fantastical adventures to every
corner of the imagination. your home office is the window to your world,
and the heart of your social life. such reclusive behavior helps clear the
roads and public works from overburden like the lower middle class and
others who depend shamelessly on their government. today you are freer
than ever to do what you want, provided you can pay for it! remember, the
first word in usa is us! we have arrived, neighbors, we are the privileged
elite!
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