10. Table For One
I'm walking down in the basement
I'm leaning on the washing machine
I'm reaching back through a hole in the wall's insulation
I'm pulling out a bottle of vodk
Replacing that with a pint of Jim Beam
I'm lying down on the floor until I feel better
It's morning and I pour myself coffee
I drink it 'til the kitchen stops shaking
I'm backing out of the driveway and into creation
And the loving spirit that follows me, watching helplessly
Will always forgive me
Oh I want to die alone with my sympathy beside me
I want to bring down all those demons who drank with me
Feasting gleefully on my desperation
I hide all the bottles in places
They find and confront me with pain in their eyes
And I promise that I'll make some changes
But reaching back it occurs to me
There will always be some kind of crisis for me
Oh I want to die alone with my sympathy beside me
I want to bring back all those moments they stole from me
In my reverie
Darkening day's end
Oh I want to die alone with my memories inside me
I want to live that life when I could say people had faith in me
I still see that guy in my memory
Oh I want to die alone with my sympathy beside me
I want to bring down all those people who drank with me
Watching happily
My humiliation
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