1. The Perfect Woman - Welly Yang, Tyley Ross
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman's scholarly--at least a P.H.D
[Simon]
But just one P.H.D ?
She should have two or three.
In physics, and statistics.
[Wai-Tung]
Come on, be realistic
[Simon]
And classic Russian novels from the nineteenth century.
[Wai-Tung]
Now how about her breeding?
The finest line, of course.
[Simon]
For Christ's sakes, are you looking for a woman or a horse?
[Wai-Tung]
Her ancestry is vital.
[Simon]
Then find one with a title.
And maybe you'll get money when she sues you for divorce.
[Wai-Tung]
So what to say?
[Simon]
She knows ballet.
[Wai-Tung]
A girl who's fun.
[Simon]
Who packs a gun.
[Wai-Tung]
Secure like me.
[Simon]
She's six foot three.
[Wai-Tung]
Um, Simon, please.
The girl's Chinese.
[Simon]
Okay-she's six foot one.
[Wai-Tung]
She wants to bear my son.
[Simon]
Now that'd be something else conceiving by herself.
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman walks with grace.
[Simon]
Is grace a woman, too?
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman knows her place.
[Simon]
And knows it's not with you.
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman's not a floozy.
[Simon]
But you hope be choosy.
[Wai-Tung]
She knows traditions must be shown respect.
She knows just what my parents will expect.
She matches every item on my list.
The perfect woman- the perfect woman--
[Simon]
--does not exist.
The perfect woman's cultured, well-connected and well-bred.
She's over-educated.
And let's not forget well-fed.
She brainy and she's classy, but don't forget the chassis.
'Cause one night you might find yourself in the perfect woman's bed.
[Wai-Tung]
I guess she's strong.
[Simon]
You can't go wrong.
[Wai-Tung]
Childbearing hips.
[Simon]
Load-bearing lips.
[Wai-Tung]
A shapely breast.
[Simon]
A hairy chest.
[Wai-Tung]
Attractive eyes.
[Simon]
And chiseled thighs.
[Wai-Tung]
And - wait - chiseled what?
[Simon]
And yeah, a bubble butt.
[Wai-Tung]
Now Simon, that's just wrong.
[Simon]
And yeah, a great big schlong!
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman is the one
[Simon]
-- you take to bed each night.
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman can be fun
[Simon]
- but she'll put up a fight.
Both the perfect woman should be able to drink me 'neath the table.
[Wai-Tung]
To scratch her balls and smoke a fine cigar
[Simon]
Sew curtains the go out and fix the car
both sing La Boheme like any opera star.
The perfect woman knows you well--
[Wai-Tung]
--and make you feel complete.
Both the perfect woman never tells--
[Wai-Tung]
--she's perfectly discreet.
The perfect woman helps her lover when he needs to keep his cover.
[Simon]
She puts up with her lover's silly crap.
[Wai-Tung]
She helps her lover slip the family trap.
[Simon]
She tolerates him when he's wackeroo.
[Wai-Tung]
She sounds like me
[Simon]
and me too
[Wai-Tung]
The perfect woman...
[Simon]
The perfect woman...
[Both]
is you.
--
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◆ From: 111.248.115.34
※ 編輯: windofmoon 來自: 111.248.115.34 (02/03 02:10)