I SHALL SCREAM
Oliver is dragged off as Bumble and the Widow do a bit of courting.
When the beadle sneaks a kiss, the Widow protests:
WIDOW CORNEY: Mr. Bumble, I shall scream!
MR. BUMBLE: No, you wouldn't, heigh-ho.
If I wanted something special,
Then you couldn't say "no".
Did I nearly catch you smiling?
Yes I did, and it's beguiling.
If your hand is close, I'll press it.
Yes, you like it -- come confess it!
Yes, you do.
WIDOW CORNEY: No, I don't.
MR. BUMBLE: Yes, you do!
WIDOW CORNEY: I shall scream! I shall scream!
Til they hasten to my rescue, I shall scream.
MR. BUMBLE: Since there's nobody that's near us
Who can see us or can hear us,
If I ask you can I kiss you
Say what will my pretty miss do?
WIDOW CORNEY: I shall scream, scream, scream!
MR. BUMBLE: If I pinch you one pinch --
From you shy protective shell,
Can I un-inch you one inch?
Will my blithesome, buxom beauty
Let her suitor do his duty?
Though his lap ain't very large, dear
Sit upon it -- there's no charge, dear.
Will you sit?
WIDOW CORNEY: No, I shan't
MR. BUMBLE: Will you sit?
WIDOW CORNEY: I shall scream! I shall scream!
For the safety of my virtue I shall scream.
Though your knee is rather cozy,
See my cheeks are getting rosy.
You would have me in your power.
If I sat here for an hour.
MR. BUMBLE (gasping under her weight): I shall scream, scream,
scream!
WIDOW CORNEY (getting off his lap): You're a naughty bad man,
If you think I can't be proper,
Prim and haughty -- I can
And you'll pardon if I mention
You must state your true intention. How?
MR. BUMBLE: Is there not another room here?
WIDOW CORNEY (regretfully): No.
MR. BUMBLE: If there were a bride and groom here --
Would there be?
WIDOW CORNEY: Well, there might.
MR. BUMBLE: We shall see.
WIDOW CORNEY: I shall scream! I shall scream!
At the thought of what you're thinking,
I shall scream!
MR. BUMBLE: You will wonder where that scream went
When we come to an agreement.
As my lovey-dove is chubby,
Could she love a chubby hubby?
WIDOW CORNEY: I shall scream, Mr. Bumble!
I shall scream, Bumble-Wumble!
I shall scream, scream (what, now?) scream!
(Kiss).
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