HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Well, if you've been reading my newsletters for awhile,
then I'll bet that the title of this particular newsletter
got your attention...
I know, I know... I don't usually talk very much about
"girlfriends" and "relationships".
But today is SPECIAL.
It's special because I'm going to take an entire
newsletter to talk about the subject.
Of course, I'm not going to talk about the "usual" stuff
like how to buy a woman flowers and how to apologize when
you're late for dinner.
Nope.
I'm going to talk about something FAR more important.
I'm going to talk about how to GET a GREAT girlfriend...
and what to do once you've GOTTEN her so you don't screw it
up and LOSE her.
As a quick side note, I really believe that most men
ULTIMATELY want a GREAT relationship with a beautiful,
interesting, intelligent woman.
The REASON most guys learn to be more successful with
women and dating is to find a GREAT one... not just so they
can date a million women.
Sure, some guys just want to date a lot of women, and
aren't "relationship" material.
But I believe that probably 90% of guys who study this
area of life do so because they want to have OPTIONS when
it comes to women and dating... and they want to be able
to meet and date more intelligent, attractive, and
interesting women... but ULTIMATELY I think that most guys
would like to meet a really nice, attractive woman to share
a great relationship with.
Instead of just "settling" for any woman that will go
out with you, you start wanting THE BEST.
This is only natural.
Here's where things get interesting...
When a guy who hasn't been particularly good with women
and dating gets his first date with an UNUSUALLY wonderful
woman, it will often shake him up... and he'll "forget"
everything he's learned... and start acting like his former
"Wuss Self".
When the stakes go up in life, we humans get nervous.
And this nervousness often hurts us by "blanking" our
minds, and makes us SCREW UP... instead of HELPING us by
calming us and causing us to remember what we SHOULD be
doing.
Hey, I didn't design humans... I just work with what's
already there. Don't blame me.
So how does this translate when it comes to guys dating
unusually attractive women for the first time?
well, after having this happen in my own life many times,
and getting emails from countless guys who have gone through
the same thing, I think the process goes a little something
like this:
1) Become frustrated because he's not having success with
women and dating. Decides to do something about it.
2) Starts learning techniques and ideas to improve success.
Begins to improve, and realizes that it IS possible to have
more success with women. Feels excited as results improve.
3) Wakes up one day and realizes that the types of women that
were previously "untouchable" are, in fact, within reach.
Decides to do something about it.
4) Gets a date with a woman that was previously "out of his
league". Instantly becomes aware that this is a VERY
important situation. Becomes nervous.
5) Goes out on the date, and acts like a Wuss Bag. Because
he knows the MAJOR mistakes to avoid, and the important
things to do, still does "OK"... to the point where the
woman has a good time, enjoys herself, etc.
6) Goes home and says to self "Self, you'd better not
screw this one up. Call her and ask her out again. This
girl is RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL. It's OK to call her a
lot and act like a Wuss, because she's different. I
know that David D. would He-Bitch-Man-Slap me for this,
but if he knew how amazing THIS PARTICULAR girl was, he
would understand." Part of this step is thinking about the
girl all the time, and secretly wondering if she's OUT
WITH ANOTHER GUY.
7) Proceeds to call and get Date #2 (for the very next night,
of course).
8) On Date #2 (or Date #3) says to the girl "You're special.
I have FEELINGS for you." (Or something equally emotional,
needy, clingy, or Wuss-like.)
9) Calls the amazing girl every day... to the point where she
stops returning his calls and starts actively avoiding his
calls. Girl finally says something like "I think I need some
time ALONE right now in life" or "It's not YOU, it's ME" or
"You're such a great guy, and I really like you a lot... but
I'm just not ready for a RELATIONSHIP right now", etc.
10) Writes in to David D. and says "HELP, you've got to help
me out with this one. Please please please. This girl is
amazing and I want her to be my girlfriend, but I acted like
a Wuss, and now she only likes me as a friend. What can I do
to get her back?"
And if you've been tuned in to my newsletter for awhile,
you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Hell, if you've been tuned in long enough, YOU have
probably sent me an email like the one I just mentioned.
So there are two pieces to this puzzle:
1) How to get a girlfriend.
2) How to not screw it up when you get one.
...to be continued
--
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> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
作者: INDI (litte) 看板: Niceguyclub
標題: [建議] 今日主題-續
時間: Fri Feb 13 11:01:13 2004
HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Here are some ideas for how to GET a great girlfriend:
1) Realize that attractive, intelligent, amazing women are
IN DEMAND. They are RARE (I believe that a man who has his
life together and understands women and attraction is FAR
RARER, but that's a different conversation).
2) Because these women are rare and in demand, they usually
have a lot of EXPERIENCE with men. And guess what? MEN ARE
VERY PREDICTABLE. Men usually ask women out in one of a
few PREDICTABLE ways... and they usually act one of a few
PREDICTABLE ways on dates... and they usually respond in
one of a few PREDICTABLE ways after the date... etc.
3) When it comes to the unusually attractive, desirable
women, they have usually had a LOT of men who have "fallen"
for them "too quickly". In other words, when they meet a
guy who falls for them quickly, they RECOGNIZE it instantly,
and RESPOND to it by RUNNING away.
4) If you want to get one of these desirable women to
consider a RELATIONSHIP with you, you need to NOT act like
one of the other 100 boring guys she's gone out with.
5) It is VITALLY important that you learn everything you
can about women and dating before you go looking for a
long-term relationship with a fantastic woman. Of course,
I recommend my eBook and other advanced materials for
this. You won't find a better education anywhere on this
topic, and what you'll learn from me will definitely help
you get your "game" together in this area. If you can't
afford to get my materials right now, just keep reading
these newsletters religiously. They're jam packed with
great information, and they'll help you tremendously. The
point is that you have to KEEP WORKING on it. Don't just
learn a few things and think "OK, I've got it".
6) You must give an unusually attractive woman SPACE. You
can't call her every day, tell her that you're in love with
her two days after you've met her, chase her around, always
ask what she's doing, etc. You must give this special woman
THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU.
7) When you're in her presence, you must not treat her like
you desperately want and need her approval. There's a way to
do ANYTHING and have it mean ANYTHING. Whatever you do,
don't try to "impress" her, act apologetic for anything about
yourself, or otherwise give away your personal POWER. EVER.
8) If you have a life, stay with it. If you don't have a
life, get one. Don't sit around wondering what she's doing,
calling her, telling her how you "feel", etc. If she wanted
another "girlfriend", she'd get one. So don't act like one.
Desirable women want men who are INDEPENDENT, and who give
them SPACE. In fact, if anything, you need to give a woman
like this TOO MUCH space. You want HER to be the one who is
calling YOU to figure out what you're up to.
9) If you sense that this woman is "testing" you by being
difficult, trying to change plans with you on short notice
all the time, etc. then RELAX. Lean back. Never let her
"get away" with anything just because she's beautiful, or
let her have any "special privileges" because you like her.
NEVER.
10) If you want a long-term relationship, let it DEVELOP
over time. I personally don't think it's a good idea to
even CONSIDER having a relationship with a woman until you
have known her for a MINIMUM of 90 days. MINIMUM! If you
take this mindset, it will FORCE you to chill out and let
things develop over time, instead of trying to "force" them.
You'll be VERY different from the other guys she's dated,
and you'll find that SHE starts letting the "I have special
feelings for you" talk slip out.
I'm suggesting a way of thinking, behaving, and
communicating that is VERY different from the way most men
think, behave, and communicate.
It is "counter intuitive"... it doesn't really seem to
make sense at first. And it is NOT what your FEELINGS will
tell you to do if you're not experienced with women.
But if you want to avoid being one of the guys who writes
me a "David, you have to help me please please please..."
letter, then I recommend you strongly consider this stuff...
and use what you're learning from me.
HOW TO NOT SCREW IT UP WITH THE GIRL YOU HAVE
Now I'm REALLY getting into territory that I don't
usually talk about, but I'll take a few minutes and comment
on a few things...
I personally think one of the biggest mistakes men make
with women comes down to GIVING AWAY PERSONAL POWER.
This usually means acting apologetic, allowing a woman
to "get away" with things that subtly put her "in control"
of you, and behaving like a WUSSY.
Women don't feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION
for men who give away their power.
Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.
And what do most men do once they get into a long-term
relationship?
Of course...
They start acting like Wussies.
Go figure, huh?
And another of the biggest mistakes that men make with
women is acting BORING AND PREDICTABLE. These are two sides
to the same coin.
Most guys do this right from the beginning, and kill any
chances of having ANY kind of success with a woman.
But the REAL challenge comes when you get into a longer
relationship with a person... because they get a chance to
LEARN what to expect.
In other words, it's harder to not act boring and
predictable with someone who has known you for a long time.
But you MUST do it if you want to keep the magic alive!
What I'm trying to say is that it's not enough to get
a woman to say "Yes, I want to be in a relationship with
you" or "Yes, I want to marry you". You're going to wake up
in five years, and still have to MAKE your relationship
great. Just because it's great now doesn't mean that you
can "let it slide".
I get a kick out of the emails I get from all the married
guys out there who are using these materials and techniques
to put the spark back into their marriages. Yes, even your
wife who you've been married to for twenty years still
wants you to make her feel ATTRACTION for you.
I hope this newsletter has made you think.
And I hope it has made you realize that there's a lot
more to GETTING and KEEPING a really attractive, amazing
woman than a few tricks.
You have to do a lot of INNER work if you want to be
the kind of guy who can keep an amazing woman.
When I was on my own personal quest to learn how to
attract women, I found that most of the materials available
only focused on the OUTER game. In other words, they only
talked about techniques. They said "Just go up to a woman
and say HI..." but they didn't talk about HOW to say the
words, or how to understand what the woman would be
thinking when I did approach her... or any of the million
other "INNER GAME" issues around meeting women.
After spending a few years figuring this stuff out, I
have realized that it is VITAL that a guy get his Inner
Game together FIRST.
Once you understand how and why women are attracted to
certain types of men, and how the human "mating dance"
works, you will SEE things differently. You'll understand
things in a new way. It's like putting on a pair of 3-D
glasses... and seeing things in a totally new way.
BY David .D
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