此詩涉及色情語言，未成年及衛道人士請自行左轉
請配合影片食用：http://youtu.be/mvDj-NYnmS4
Dirty talk by Rives
＜下流話＞
Seems pretty simple.
好像很簡單。
You wanna get your teeth cleaned for free?
你想要免費洗牙？
Date a dentist.
就和牙醫約會。
New addition on the house?
房子想加蓋？
You should screw an architect.
你應該搞個建築師。
But if you need someone to talk dirty to you in bed,
但是如果你想要有人在你床上講些下流話，
you better fuck a poet.
你最好幹個詩人。
Because the average civilian is gonna hit you with something like,
因為一般的老百姓只會說些打擊你的話像是，
"Oh, we are really having sex!"
「噢，我們真的在做愛耶！」
While a poet might phrase that a little more like,
而一個詩人可能會把那句話措辭成，
"Lovermuchmist, my where, my why, my how,
「如霧般的愛人啊，我的所在，我的謎題，我的答案啊，
I wanna do you like all three dudes in Blue Man Group*
我想要幹你像是藍人三人組*的那些傢伙一樣
because that's what color my balls are right now."
因為那正是現在我那裡的顏色啊。」
Sexy but clearly that is just a hypothetical
色情，但是顯然那只是假設的說法
Because me, when I'm actually in the saddle,
因為我，當我真正「掌權」的時候，
I'm straight freestyling.
我純粹就只靠自由發揮。
In fact, afterwards, even
事實上，在那之後，甚至
when I review the videotape,
當我回顧錄像帶，
honestly, I can't make out half the crap I'm saying.
老實說，我無法理解大部分我說的那些廢話
And hey, I know you don't always want the dirty talk.
再說，嘿，我知道你們不想總是聽下流話。
That is great.
那太棒了。
Fuck a mime!
去幹個默劇演員！
Have a knockout time.
給自己一個深刻難忘的回憶。
But that little creep is gonna spend the entire day
但是那種緩緩蠕動的感覺將會花一整天
in his imaginary box
在他虛幻的盒子裏
and he's never gonna make it to your money spot
而且他絕對不會讓那裡成為你的秘密基地！
And you call me when you need the dirty talk.
然後當你需要聽下流話的時候你可以打給我。
And that does not make you nasty, baby –
反正下流的不是你啊，北鼻──
That makes me nasty, baby.
下流的是我唷，北鼻。
And clearly, I'm okay with that.
而且無疑的，我超ＯＫ的啊。
And so are most poets, which is the point.
並且大部分的詩人都是喔，那就是重點。
Know thyself.
瞭解你自己。
If you can't stand firemen,
如果你受不了消防員，
don't light fires.
就別亂點火。
Can't stand a sofa in your swimming pool?
受不了沙發漂在你家游泳池？
Never rent your house out to rockstars.
那就不要把房子借給搖滾歌手。
And if, after tonight,
而如果，過了今晚，
after seeing what a dope-ass lineup of poets
在看了這些超屌的詩人
can do-do-do to a mic,
對著麥克風能做出的事，
if you still cannot fathom the imagery and ecstasy of
如果你還無法揣摩永恆或是離子
eons or ions
充滿狂喜的意象
spun into speech
如何被攪入言談間
from your actual spasms
來自你真正的抽蓄
by a soul, in a room,
以一個靈魂，在一間房間，
with an immortal mouth
和一張不朽的嘴
gnashing loudly for true love over loneliness
為人跡罕至的真愛高聲咬牙
and moaning to the moon, the moon, the ever-loving moon
對著月亮呻吟，噢月亮，深情的月亮啊
so that all the neighbors know it –
如此每個鄰居都會知道──
-- if you can't fathom that,
嗯如果你無法揣摩，
don't fuck a poet.
就別和詩人做。
Note:
- Blue Man Group* 三個男的身體塗得藍藍的表演團體，
有興趣可google / youtube
其實他們的表演相當有趣。
- 為求生動翻譯沒有馬賽克，
不清楚的地方也是還沒想到更好的方法。
有評論的話請對詩不對人。
- 其實第一次聽Rives念的時候我真的笑翻了XD
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