I Do Not Love Thee, Dr Fell

I do not love thee, Dr Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell;
But this I know, and know full well,
I do not love thee, Dr Fell.

Tom Brown

Explanation (much obliged to SCDoyle's research) --

Tradition has it that Brown, while a student at Christ Church, got into some
sort of trouble and was taken to the dean, Dr John Fell. Brown was set to be
sent down from Oxford, but Dr. Fell decided to waive the expulsion if Brown
could translate, extempore a Martial epigram. The above poem is the result;
unfortunately, history does not record whether or not Brown's creativity was
sufficient to stay the dean's weath.

The original Martial epigram follows:

"Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
Hoc tantum posso dicere, non amo te."
-- Martial

Brown's translation is an excellent one, succinct and faithful to the original
(which reads something like this in English: "I don't like you, Sabidius, and I
can't say why; all I can say is I don't like you").