I wrote this poem when I was deeply down,so if there are something
wrong with it, I hope you won't mind it!!
--------------------
The eclipse of memory
by sad Daphne
Rain drops soaked through the sun blinder's brim,
'tis where left thy fragrance, truely I've ever dream.
Farewell, sole vagueness of thy passionate ring,
yea,frigid countenance tears apart the crystal heart,
Thou shalt hold me tight, nay tricking.
Wind dived into the night, I've envisioned,
transparent though ye be, actually, I was haunted
by words that magically enslaved.
Savvied, pain,as a pang, enclosed my mind then slaied ,
art thou nay hurt, cometh vague words I desired to ask in.
Pretend, becomes the strong mask of my agony,
so I attempt, traced a centain trivials of destiny
Echo of thy voice answered abruptly,
denied all the time we were swimming'in merrily,
Explicitly,nothing come hither any longer,
Permanently,I've been engrossed in thy eclipsed tender.
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.csie.ntu.edu.tw)
◆ From: c50.h061013121.is.net.tw
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
作者: skyhawk (冰城城主) 看板: poetry
標題: Re: My second poem....
時間: Sun Jun 10 12:05:32 2001
※ 引述《Chryseis (如果 一切都能重來)》之銘言：
: I wrote this poem when I was deeply down,so if there are something
: wrong with it, I hope you won't mind it!!
: --------------------
: The eclipse of memory
: by sad Daphne
: Rain drops soaked through the sun blinder's brim,
: 'tis where left thy fragrance, truely I've ever dream.
: Farewell, sole vagueness of thy passionate ring,
: yea,frigid countenance tears apart the crystal heart,
: Thou shalt hold me tight, nay tricking.
: Wind dived into the night, I've envisioned,
: transparent though ye be, actually, I was haunted
: by words that magically enslaved.
: Savvied, pain,as a pang, enclosed my mind then slaied ,
: art thou nay hurt, cometh vague words I desired to ask in.
: Pretend, becomes the strong mask of my agony,
: so I attempt, traced a centain trivials of destiny
: Echo of thy voice answered abruptly,
: denied all the time we were swimming'in merrily,
: Explicitly,nothing come hither any longer,
: Permanently,I've been engrossed in thy eclipsed tender.
呼 真的是野心很大的作品 ^^
能用 middle English 寫 真的很勇敢
如果繼續加油也許可以讓 Archaism 更加發揚光大呢! ^^
不過, 有幾點要注意一下:
1. 現代英文的 not 和 no 在中英文也有用到 只是比較少而已
像 .. you can not .. 一般會說 thou canst not
而比較不會說 thou canst naught .. 不過一切看情況 ^^
Not 在中英文是 naught .. 是從古英文的 nawght 來
No 則是 nay .. 是從古諾曼語的 nei 來的
(版主: 應該是吧 @@~ .... 眾: 你沒記清楚就在亂說!!! 版主: ^^;;;;)
2. 如果要寫中英文的詩 格式要注意一下喔
每行的第一個字母一定要大寫
如果碰到像 'tis 的簡略寫法 就寫成 'Tis
另外 早期的英詩多是 formal verse/closed form
如果有興趣的話可以試著玩玩看 蠻有趣的
(當然 .. poetic license 比較重要 重點還是要寫出屬於自己的詩)
3. 第三人稱現在式後來加 -th 或 -eth (現代英語是加 -s 或 -es)
可以發現音很像喔 ^^
還有 .. 如果是第二人稱單數的現在式 則是加 -st 或 -est
4. 在一般時候 your 是 thy, 但是如果下個字有類似 h 音的母音 要用 thine
像 .. know thine enemy
嗯 基本上呢
you 的單數: thou
your: thy 或 thine
you 當 ... 呃怎麼說呢 .. 像 .. come unto thee 就不能說 come unto thou
中文好像是受格吧? @_@
還有就是說 .. 當主人對僕人 或是友人 是說 thou
只有在僕人對主人時才會用 ye
但是 .. 從中期英文就開始混淆了 所以不用在意太多
這是因為 thou 是帶有強烈情感的 .. 像愛, 恨, 嘲弄, 指責, 等等
而 ye 是比較平淡的, 是推崇的 .. 光耀的 .. 那些比較抽象的東東
就這樣子了 *^^*
心情要好一點喔 不然寫詩就沒有用了 ^^