The revival
-- dedicated to Annis
Weak and troubled, the pen narrated words
Of the matters lost through days and seasons;
Of the red flame raised high above the sword;
And of the green thorn that betrayed reasons,
But what it has whispered, it did not know --
Thus a convoluted path it must tread,
Through piercing indifference of silvery snow,
Its sanguine agony of old has bled.
On the paralysed edge of doom and death,
Where a soul's strength alone could barely stand,
It frightfully woke from quick gasps of breath,
For after great pain, it's stirred to withstand.
From then on the earth's tenderly revived,
And warmth fulfilled, where coldness was deprived.
I: guests of the world
Purple street -- grey heart -- black lamp --
It was dark. Things were missing from the street.
Homeward, the subway track screamed deep
Into the night like an empty throat.
It was summer -- heat unbearable and white
Scabious wildly bloomed: over
The yards, occupying every corner of his eyes.
Right, right, it was time to say good bye.
Good bye, Terra dearest,
It could be so clean.
Young Jerome, who fell
Asleep one Sunday afternoon, was buried
Alive --
But it was all right, Lazarus,
This illness was not to end in death.
These people, they wrote nothing save broken verses of love
And rain: sweet city, this is Taipei!
Home -- city of cat-eyed girls, who pronounced
The city with beautiful straight hair and
Foreign names -- oh-dearest-Paris-Milan-and-Tokyo!
They paid to be sophisticated, streetly
Girls in concert halls --
Damn them all.
They placed the flowers around him -- wrought in rings --
Red and green wreath, which
Thrived snuggly around his chest.
He sneezed -- but they did not see.
The father's torpid camarilla
Whispered deeply beneath their dark coats, each
Wearing their own insensate compassion
Atop their throats. They gargled with their words
And juggled through their phrases.
Each gesture was calculated and weighed
With caution: these were their condolences.
'Twas a grave matter, an eventful carapace gather.
Locked inside and barred from freedom -- the cold
Steel of imprisonment -- thick with
The density of light and heat;
The world that revolved around him;
And the pallid sky, which beaded summer
Scent through the air. Yet he did not feel a thing.
Every way he turned there was wall,
There was no way he could fall.
A crisp beetle crawled across his lower lip, only
To route back to the rose bud! The little creep.
The sepulchre has been a bed of dreams --
Weep not! Jerome was only asleep --
"Incipit."
II: fading doors
In and out of the doors they fluttered through --
They did it well (with dresses) like a dance:
Dark butterflies, they were drawn to a trance,
And where they passed each other on the way,
One age-wrecked wanderer had words to say
(Though nobody had the patience to hear
What message did the feeble sentence bear --
Everyone continued to talk in mime,
They cloaked the mirror and crippled the time --
While the whole world sauntered through the evening
For the mourners' music and the living),
With throat-grating words of difficult tongue,
He brought and spoke his wisdom for the young,
"Waste not your life on such formality,
Instead, seize all -- seize with frugality
Of all the passions worthy of your woe,
Henceforth live with sighs tempted; breaths in awe,
Than that of regret and of senile age,
To walk knowing that you've been on the stage!"
Those were the very words of his advice,
But his desperate rant was not suffice
To have the path of hasty cadres changed --
And ignored the counsel, the house exchanged
The old pilgrim for more important chores,
Such as greeting about the waving doors.
So amidst a thousand things to pursue,
The old man disappeared in nightly hue,
Sagacity did not much longer stay,
Sanity, too, left the very same day.
Sensibility would disperse that week,
Triviality's all that was left to seek --
Jerome -- who's slept a monotonous dream,
Had no nightmare to wake up from a scream.
Passion -- end no more in exclamation,
It has left instead an empty question:
Lost the answer has -- but nevertheless,
Through those delicate nocturnal caress
The mesmerising midnight monody
Yearned ceaselessly -- such serious mockery!
Such subtle parody! The taste of hint
Overlapped in layers of fantasy
But reaped only exhausted ecstasy.
It could not be satisfied by visions
Of nights cut out in careful incisions
And square calendars -- mechanical moon --
Vintage of life! It's been labeled too soon,
Like those years ended in June: the fragrance
Warm with summer's elegance and romance,
Yet sans the heat of passionate embrace --
In this case, Jerome's face has grown foreign,
Estranged, and alienated -- his own world
Ignored by those around him. He grew cold
While all the other shadows grew long and grey --
To his gather -- through a twisted pathway,
Each and everyone had errands to do.
III: sky in transition
The heart barely trembled,
In its chthonic chambre, it remained
Resilient, like the cold weather after seasonal
Alteration -- autumn affected.
IV: unfeeling season
It has been a season of immense effort
To forget (snow has never fallen
On this street, instead, men and women
Grew hearts of frost) -- and ached
For the coldness. It was too hard.
Everyone but Jerome mourned and grieved,
But only Time could bring the next season.
Hidden beneath
Was a plate of warmth, leftover
(Like last night's dream) --
The residue of revered recollection (grew
Moist and dampened by the tears, which softened
The winter ground) looped about the black
Spirals of hair, and eyes
That drowned the most familiar of
Anamneses.
Faint photographs grew dim,
Then made inaudible. (Was it
The eyes that have dulled the fire?)
With one thick thud
All the faces were shut out,
In the album -- locked
Inside the room -- forgotten
Behind the doors. Jerome's
Identity vermiculated. (It dried
And evaporated.) Yet, each was claimed
And cried on.
A distant voice echoed a piano's whisper.
From grave to vivace! "Pour your emotions!"
(For Jerome?) "Yes, everything (and
Nothing) for Jerome." The room was
Left untouched for Jerome. The bed
Was made for Jerome. The windows
Were locked for Jerome. The
Teacup was bought for
Jerome. I danced
For Jerome.
Everything for Jerome!
Allegro-andante-adagio:
'Twas all the same.
V: a colour left behind
The flowers flourished from the silver sand;
The waters washed away the snow above --
At last it came winter's withering end,
And there, spring has startled her sigh of love.
Amidst the sodden soil's a place of peace,
Two stones slept in the centre square and sound.
'Til a monstrous might's torn the rocks apiece,
A tomb empty was by the dark earth bound.
Where the sombre opening breathed and yawned,
A rose with rouge cheeks enormously grew.
When the mysterious heavens blushed and dawned,
Jerome woke again 'mongst the star-lit dew.
Yet, he has left the world for far too long --
His past was lost -- like a forgotten song.
Dale
19.10.2002
--
╭─────────────────────────╮
│"To spell out the obvious is often to call it in │
│question." -- Eric Hoffer │
╰───────────◇ http://dale.rileks.com ◇╯
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 61.216.20.37
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
作者: skyhawk (冰城城主) 看板: poetry
標題: Re: 作品 00091
時間: Tue Oct 22 01:48:06 2002
很少為自己的詩寫註解, 原因很簡單, 就像你不會為日記寫註解一樣,
一方面是覺得對自己殘忍, 必須重溫過去的心情, 把詩拆得七零八散時
總是會刺得自己雙手鮮血淋淋...
但是, 現在既然因為一些緣故, 寫了註解, 那就放上來吧...
The revival
-- dedicated to Annis
Weak and troubled, the pen[1] narrated words 這部份是前言, 格式是
Of the matters lost[2] through days and seasons[3]; 英式十四行詩. 選擇
Of the red flame[4] raised high above the sword; 十四行詩的原因, 是因
And of the green thorn[5] that betrayed reasons, 為十四行詩代表愛情,
But what it has whispered, it[6] did not know -- 這首詩是一個故事, 愛
Thus a convoluted path it must tread, 情是重要題材之一.
Through piercing indifference of silvery snow, 內容也可以視為整首詩
Its sanguine agony of old[7] has bled. 的大綱.
On the paralysed edge of doom and death,
Where a soul's strength alone could barely stand,
It frightfully woke from quick gasps of breath[8],
For after great pain, it's stirred to withstand.
From then on the earth's tenderly revived,
And warmth fulfilled, where coldness was deprived[9].
[1] 前言的主角是一隻筆, 在完成作品時迷失了自己, 因而徬徨失措.
[2] 諷刺的是, 它的作品中, 主角也在尋找東西.
[3] 時間和季節也是重要的題材, 也是這首詩表現自己的方式.
[4] 代表熱烈的情感, 值得執著的人事物.
[5] 綠色在奧塞羅裡頭代表妒嫉, "刺" 只是輔助, 代表愛情與背叛.
[6] 想像主角在紙上旅行, 因為體會到自己的迷惑, 所以透過旅行尋找答案.
[7] 旅行 (尋找自我) 時所遇到的痛苦和困難, 紅色把主題拉回愛情.
[8] 因為極度痛苦而像惡夢一般地驚醒.
[9] 暗示結局並不是痛苦的.
I: guests of the world[10]
Purple street -- grey heart -- black lamp -- 因為是從夏天開始動筆
It was dark. Things were missing[11] from the street. 的, 所以經過考慮決定
Homeward[12], the subway track screamed deep 把第一部的背景設為夏
Into the night like an empty throat[13]. 季.
It was summer[14] -- heat unbearable and white
Scabious[15] wildly bloomed: over
The yards, occupying every corner of his eyes.
Right, right, it was time to say good bye.
Good bye, Terra[16] dearest,
It could be so clean.
Young Jerome, who fell
Asleep one Sunday afternoon, was buried
Alive --
But it was all right, Lazarus[17],
This illness was not to end in death.
These people[18], they wrote nothing save broken verses of love
And rain: sweet city, this is Taipei!
Home -- city of cat-eyed girls, who pronounced
The city with beautiful straight hair and
Foreign names -- oh-dearest-Paris-Milan-and-Tokyo![19]
They paid to be sophisticated, streetly
Girls in concert halls --
Damn them all.
They placed the flowers around him -- wrought in rings --
Red and green[20] wreath, which
Thrived snuggly around his chest.
He sneezed -- but they did not see[21].
The father's torpid camarilla
Whispered deeply beneath their dark coats[22], each
Wearing their own insensate compassion[23]
Atop their throats. They gargled with their words
And juggled through their phrases.[24]
Each gesture was calculated and weighed
With caution: these were their condolences.
'Twas a grave matter, an eventful carapace[25] gather.
Locked inside and barred from freedom[26] -- the cold
Steel of imprisonment -- thick with
The density of light and heat[27];
The world that revolved around him;
And the pallid sky, which beaded summer
Scent through the air. Yet he did not feel a thing.[28]
Every way he turned there was wall,
There was no way he could fall.
A crisp beetle crawled across his lower lip, only
To route back to the rose bud! The little creep.
The sepulchre has been a bed of dreams[29] --
Weep not! Jerome was only asleep[30] --
"Incipit[31]."
[10] 像旅客般地遊走世界 -- 沒有地方可以歇息.
[11] 這段的主題是夏天, 家, 和人與人之間的情感. 但是這些都失去了.
[12] 無論是詩的架構上, 亦或尋找答案的起點, 都由家的主題開始.
[13] 在黑暗中不斷吶喊的地下鐵, 算是傾訴寂寞的手法吧...
[14] 夏, 第一部的主題.
[15] 有強烈情感的夏季花朵, 我把它的花語詮釋為內心的爭執與矛盾.
[16] 象徵世界.
[17] 約翰 11:1-44, 暗示結尾的手法, 也可以參考普拉絲的詩.
[18] 和敘述者相同的旅人, 其實是暗示敘述者不是特別的, 不是唯一的.
[19] 因迷路時很諷刺地反而對周遭看得清楚, 而產生的怨懟.
[20] 回到前言對紅色與綠色的詮釋.
[21] 人因過於固執而可笑地忽略重點.
[22] 父親與他的智囊團象徵社會, 這一部的指控是社會造成了情感的死亡.
[23] 一樣是諷刺手法, 冷淡的關心 -- 本質是什麼?
[24] 一樣是指控, 小心翼翼的社交令人憎惡.
[25] 昆蟲油亮硬殼般的互動 -- 僵硬, 畏縮, 不誠實.
[26] 由昆蟲硬殼轉到困的主題 -- 被社會, 被過去, 被自己困住.
[27] 由困的主題轉回夏的主題.
[28] 因繁瑣的社交而麻痺.
[29] 暗示, 之後會以夢當主題.
[30] 以安慰的手法再一次暗示結局.
[31] 古文中常會以這個字標示開頭, 所以我很故意的把它放在第一部結尾.
II: fading doors
In and out of the doors they fluttered through -- 第二部是第一部主題的
They did it well (with dresses) like a dance: 延伸, 一樣是夏, 卻是
Dark butterflies[32], they were drawn to a trance, 夏季的扭曲. 把重點
And where they passed each other on the way, 放在人群來解釋為什麼
One age-wrecked wanderer[33] had words to say 在這首詩中家不是答案
(Though nobody had the patience to hear -- 原因很簡單, 家也
What message did the feeble sentence bear -- 失去了...
Everyone continued to talk in mime,
They cloaked the mirror and crippled the time[34] --
While the whole world sauntered through the evening
For the mourners' music and the living),
With throat-grating words of difficult tongue,
He brought and spoke his wisdom for the young,
"Waste not your life on such formality[35],
Instead, seize all -- seize with frugality
Of all the passions worthy of your woe,
Henceforth live with sighs tempted; breaths in awe,
Than that of regret and of senile age,
To walk knowing that you've been on the stage!"
Those were the very words of his advice,
But his desperate rant was not suffice[36]
To have the path of hasty cadres changed --
And ignored the counsel, the house[37] exchanged
The old pilgrim for more important chores,
Such as greeting about the waving doors[38].
So amidst a thousand things to pursue,
The old man disappeared in nightly hue,
Sagacity did not much longer stay,
Sanity, too, left the very same day.
Sensibility would disperse that week,
Triviality's all that was left to seek --
Jerome -- who's slept a monotonous dream[39],
Had no nightmare to wake up from a scream[40].
Passion -- end no more in exclamation,
It has left instead an empty question:
Lost the answer has -- but nevertheless,
Through those delicate nocturnal caress
The mesmerising midnight monody
Yearned ceaselessly -- such serious mockery!
Such subtle parody! The taste of hint
Overlapped in layers of fantasy
But reaped only exhausted ecstasy[41].
It could not be satisfied by visions
Of nights cut out in careful incisions[42]
And square calendars -- mechanical moon --
Vintage of life! It's been labeled too soon,
Like those years ended in June: the fragrance
Warm with summer's elegance and romance,
Yet sans the heat of passionate embrace --
In this case, Jerome's face has grown foreign,
Estranged, and alienated -- his own world
Ignored by those around him[43]. He grew cold
While all the other shadows grew long and grey --
To his gather -- through a twisted pathway,
Each and everyone had errands to do.
[32] 把人群譬喻成胡亂飛舞的蝴蝶, 也因此結尾跟開頭壓同韻, 可以串起來.
[33] 這一部的敘述者, 可以想像成前言中旅行的筆也可以.
[34] 儀式.
[35] 是流浪旅人為這一部敘述的寓意.
[36] 可以參考佛洛斯特的極短情詩 "火與冰" 的最後一句和冰的定義.
[37] 由 "家" 轉為 "房子" 的變形.
[38] 以不斷開關的門來形容大家打招呼說再見的模樣.
[39] 開始夢的主題.
[40] 參考前言中 -- 在這裡主角 Jerome 醒不來.
[41] 思考把熱情從慾望拿走, 剩下的東西.
[42] 批判一成不變, 也是這一部選擇用 heroic couplets 表達的原因.
[43] 算是這一部的大綱.
III: sky in transition[44]
The heart barely trembled, 第三部極短, 只有一句
In its chthonic chambre[45], it remained -- 代表了秋的主題.
Resilient, like the cold weather after seasonal
Alteration -- autumn[46] affected.
[44] 變化, 與內容敘述的不變對比.
[45] 窺探主角, 暫時回到房子的主題.
[46] 秋, 第三部的主題.
IV: unfeeling[47] season
It has been a season of immense effort 冬的主題是過去的回憶
To forget (snow has never fallen 與溫度. 算是比較嘗
On this street, instead, men and women 試性的一部. 利用熟
Grew hearts of frost) -- and ached 悉的環境來嘗試一些技
For the coldness[48]. It was too hard. 巧. 有點散亂, 和寫
Everyone but Jerome mourned and grieved, 第二部時的嚴謹規律為
But only Time could bring the next season[49]. 對比.
Hidden beneath
Was a plate of warmth[50], leftover
(Like last night's dream[51]) --
The residue of revered recollection (grew
Moist and dampened by the tears[52], which softened
The winter ground) looped about the black
Spirals of hair, and eyes
That drowned the most familiar of
Anamneses.
Faint photographs grew dim,
Then made inaudible. (Was it
The eyes that have dulled the fire[53]?)
With one thick thud
All the faces were shut out,
In the album -- locked
Inside the room -- forgotten
Behind the doors[54]. Jerome's
Identity vermiculated[55]. (It dried
And evaporated.) Yet, each was claimed
And cried on.
A distant voice echoed a piano's whisper.
From grave[56] to vivace! "Pour your emotions!"
(For Jerome?) "Yes, everything (and
Nothing) for Jerome.[57]" The room was
Left untouched for Jerome. The bed
Was made for Jerome. The windows
Were locked for Jerome. The
Teacup was bought for
Jerome. I danced
For Jerome[58].
Everything for Jerome!
Allegro-andante-adagio:
'Twas all the same.
[47] 玩弄文字遊戲, 可以想想 "feeling" 這個字, 再比較 unfeeling 的意思.
[48] 再玩一下 -- 利用括號在一句中表達不同的意思.
[49] 暗示下一部.
[50] 玩字音.
[51] 利用字開頭的聲音來隱喻字的關係.
[52] 是心情 (悲泣) 還是季節 (融雪)?
[53] 再玩玩句子的結構, 是眼睛影響火還是火影響眼睛?
[54] 回到困的主題.
[55] 如夢中照片般的搖動模糊...
[56] 玩玩字義.
[57] 再玩一次括號.
[58] 玩斷句, 依斷句將節奏加快, 配合音樂指示.
V: a colour left behind
The flowers flourished from the silver sand; 再一次利用十四行詩的
The waters washed away the snow[59] above -- 格式和前言呼應. 這
At last it came winter's withering end, 是最後一部.
And there, spring has startled her sigh of love.
Amidst the sodden soil's a place of peace,
Two stones slept in the centre square and sound[60].
'Til a monstrous might[61]'s torn the rocks apiece,
A tomb empty was by the dark earth bound.
Where the sombre opening breathed and yawned[62],
A rose[63] with rouge cheeks enormously grew.
When the mysterious heavens blushed and dawned,
Jerome woke again 'mongst the star-lit dew.
Yet, he has left the world for far too long --
His past was lost[64] -- like a forgotten song.
[59] 回應前一部的雪.
[60] 這一行最重要的音是 s, 算是利用聲音表達的方式吧...
[61] 象徵強烈情感.
[62] 擬人化, 把大地對應到主角的狀況.
[63] 回應前言中提過的刺.
[64] 被遺忘, 或選擇遺忘 -- 結果有差嗎?
Dale
19.10.2002