how does my poem sound?
coz...I didn't learn anything about poems...
only read some, and write a bit sometimes....
could any of you please give me some advice? ^^
thanx!!
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.csie.ntu.edu.tw)
◆ From: 211.74.217.21
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
作者: skyhawk (冰城城主) 看板: poetry
標題: Re: I wonder...
時間: Sat Nov 30 00:24:31 2002
※ 引述《lexia (lexia)》之銘言:
: how does my poem sound?
: coz...I didn't learn anything about poems...
: only read some, and write a bit sometimes....
: could any of you please give me some advice? ^^
: thanx!!
I usually find it difficult to peer-comment another's poetry. I feel
awkward having to "judge" (and I use this term sparingly) another poet,
and sometimes I wonder whether I should be doing this at all! That being
said, I must say that I have enjoyed your wordplays thoroughly --
especially the alliterations. You've made good use of them, making them a
very powerful essence in your poetry.
I would, however, advise you to think twice before you employ
non-contemporary English words. There are several aspects of
consideration:
- Do you use them in real life? Are you familiar with the use of these
words? Not only should you familiarise with their usage, but you should
also use them so they become affable in your poetry. I'd even suggest
using them in your daily conversation. Words that we do not use daily
become harsh when we throw them into our poetry. Subtle issues like
these do show.
- Would it be peculiar to use these words? There are scenarios that may
be more suitable than others. For example, it would be strange to write
about your Internet experience with middle English. On the other hand,
it would not be strange to write about jealousy (an ageless topic).
- Would it be inharmonious to use them with other words? There are words,
phrases, and gestures that may not exist in the time of middle English.
Forcing them to co-exist in one poem will make the poem eerie.
The second and third advice may not really apply to your work, but I thought
I may as well discuss them. ;) Cheers!