[創作] Disillusionment

[frolicker (像孩子般)]

Embraced
By a bumpy bar,
I saw the sun blurred, and heard
The moribund beats of a broken heart.



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推 hahastarr:better :)
推 darksign:short and sweeeeet
推 spacedunce5:i can't tell difference from 1st?
→ frolicker:thx for your compliments! :D
→ frolicker:The difference is making the repeated
→ frolicker:"b" sound accord with the last line,
→ frolicker:for it reflects the sound of heart
→ frolicker:beats. The former vision is "A
→ frolicker:moribund beat," which does not fit in
→ frolicker: with the several "b" sounds in the
→ frolicker:poem. It's the reason I revised it.
→ frolicker:Hope you like it! ;)
推 spacedunce5:indeed, thou speaketh true!
推 quoth:Depressed,Helpless ;(
→ frolicker:I make u feel that way? Apology...XD
→ quoth:ha~different reader different feeling ^^
→ quoth:Never mind!!
→ frolicker:Your feelings actually explain the
→ frolicker:success of it, so thank you! ˊˇˋ