I am always in a dream

[n3oanderson (T. J.)]

I am always in a dream from which I am unable to wake.
The dream is so sure that is real, but difficult to tell.
Two fire were twisted together, lightening horribly.
One desperately devoured what remained still.
A sojourner did silently observe the trend;
As film noir flipped over pages and again
The story began!

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推 EddyGuitar:很有意思喔!
→ EddyGuitar:不過建議斷句上多琢磨 營造節奏
→ EddyGuitar:很少看到每一行都是完整的句子
推 EddyGuitar:那詩中的fire似乎是很重要的核心
→ EddyGuitar:可以多著墨fire的意象 相信會更震撼
→ n3oanderson:這是一開始寫下來的初稿.原本有嘗試修
→ n3oanderson:改, 不過技術不佳. 還要多練習.
→ n3oanderson:謝謝指教: )
推 EddyGuitar:共勉之囉  寫作就是慢慢的前進過程 ^^