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作者dale (冰城城主)
看板poetry
標題[轉寄] The Three O'clock Wind
時間Fri Dec 24 21:14:54 2004
The Three O'clock Wind The three o'clock wind rides the back of the dead. Partnered with anger, while laughing with dread. All windows of glass become that made of air, in comes the three o'clock where other's won't dare. From window to floor then bed where you rest, the three o'clock wind soon encircles your chest. Eyes wide in knowledge, mouth open with fear, yet no sound is brought fourth to warn that it's hear. For no fortress of stone nor fast running stream, can silence the cry of the three o'clock scream. R. F. Mayes -- ╭─────────────────────────╮ │"To spell out the obvious is often to call it in │ │question." -- Eric Hoffer │ ╰──────────◇ http://dale.distract.org ◇╯ -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 218.166.83.196 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- < 作者: dale (冰城城主) 看板: poetry 標題: Re: [轉寄] The Three O'clock Wind 時間: Fri Dec 24 21:15:21 2004 文法有錯，但音樂性不錯， 因此和大家分享。:) -- ╭─────────────────────────╮ │"There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by │ │scorn." -- Albert Camus │ ╰──────────◇ http://dale.distract.org ◇╯ -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 218.166.83.196 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- < 作者: fizeau (1) 看板: poetry 標題: Re: [轉寄] The Three O'clock Wind 時間: Fri Dec 24 22:22:30 2004 ※ 引述《dale (冰城城主)》之銘言： : 標題: [轉寄] The Three O'clock Wind : 時間: Fri Dec 24 21:14:54 2004 : 討論一下： : The Three O'clock Wind : : The three o'clock wind rides the back of the dead. : Partnered with anger, while laughing with dread. 我先將詩句散文化(這個術語不曉得對不對？英文我也不知^^a)。 The three o'clock wind rides the back of the dead, partnered with anger, while laughing with dread. 這裡兩句分離文法似乎不是我所能理解的。詩句的意義大概是說(照字面翻，先不管 邏輯合乎常理否)，三點鐘的一陣風跟隨那死亡的(某物)而來，伴隨著憤怒，然而卻 帶有畏懼地笑。 : : All windows of glass become that made of air, : in comes the three o'clock where other's won't dare. All windows of glass become that made of air; where other's won't dare comes the three o'clock. 窗戶變成由空氣組成的；三點鐘到了其它的不敢到達的地方。 : : From window to floor then bed where you rest, : the three o'clock wind soon encircles your chest. 從窗到地板到你所休息的床，三點鐘的風很快圍繞你的胸前。 : : Eyes wide in knowledge, mouth open with fear, : yet no sound is brought fourth to warn that it's hear. 眼睛張開知道了它的到來，隨著恐懼口張開，然而發不出聲音 警告它被聽到了。(fourth應該是forth；hear應該用heard) : : For no fortress of stone nor fast running stream, : can silence the cry of the three o'clock scream. 因為石頭所形成的堡壘和快速流動的水流都無法將三點鐘的驚呼聲隔絕。 (no也許應該改成neither?) : : R. F. Mayes : : -- : ╭─────────────────────────╮ : │"To spell out the obvious is often to call it in │ : │question." -- Eric Hoffer │ : ╰──────────◇ http://dale.distract.org ◇╯ : : -- : ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) : ◆ From: 218.166.83.196 -- -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.62.209.245 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- < 作者: Astrophil (apple) 看板: poetry 標題: Re: [轉寄] The Three O'clock Wind 時間: Sat Dec 25 09:59:03 2004 ※ 引述《fizeau (1)》之銘言： : 討論一下： : : The three o'clock wind rides the back of the dead. : : Partnered with anger, while laughing with dread. : 我先將詩句散文化(這個術語不曉得對不對？英文我也不知^^a)。 英文叫做 paraphrase : The three o'clock wind rides the back of the dead, partnered with : anger, while laughing with dread. : 這裡兩句分離文法似乎不是我所能理解的。詩句的意義大概是說(照字面翻，先不管 : 邏輯合乎常理否)，三點鐘的一陣風跟隨那死亡的(某物)而來，伴隨著憤怒，然而卻 : 帶有畏懼地笑。 It's absolutely grammatically correct. The subject is "wind" (or, the three o'clock wind); the verb, "rides." "Partnered" is a past-participle modifying the subject. "While laughing" is reduced from "while it is laughing." : : All windows of glass become that made of air, : : in comes the three o'clock where other's won't dare. : All windows of glass become that made of air; where other's won't dare comes : the three o'clock. : 窗戶變成由空氣組成的；三點鐘到了其它的不敢到達的地方。 All windows of glass become something that is made of air, and the three o'clock comes in the place that other's (?) won't dare to come. (I'm not so sure about what "other's" means.) : : From window to floor then bed where you rest, : : the three o'clock wind soon encircles your chest. : 從窗到地板到你所休息的床，三點鐘的風很快圍繞你的胸前。 : : Eyes wide in knowledge, mouth open with fear, : : yet no sound is brought fourth to warn that it's hear. : 眼睛張開知道了它的到來，隨著恐懼口張開，然而發不出聲音 : 警告它被聽到了。(fourth應該是forth；hear應該用heard) I think "hear" sould be "here." : : For no fortress of stone nor fast running stream, : : can silence the cry of the three o'clock scream. : 因為石頭所形成的堡壘和快速流動的水流都無法將三點鐘的驚呼聲隔絕。 : (no也許應該改成neither?) : : R. F. Mayes -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.230.140.195
推 fizeau:Nice....thx^^ 61.62.209.245 12/25
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- < 作者: dale (冰城城主) 看板: poetry 標題: Re: [轉寄] The Three O'clock Wind 時間: Sat Dec 25 10:15:39 2004 ※ 引述《Astrophil (apple)》之銘言： : All windows of glass become something that is made of air, : and the three o'clock comes in the place that other's (?) won't dare to come. : (I'm not so sure about what "other's" means.) Because it should really be "others" -- the original author made a mistake. By the way, posts prefixed with [轉寄] are not meant to be exceptionally good poems. I'm simply forwarding these [hopefully interesting] poems to promote poem-writing, i.e., to show that poems written by foreigners are not _that_ good -- thence encouraging people to write. -- ╭─────────────────────────╮ │"There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by │ │scorn." -- Albert Camus │ ╰──────────◇ http://dale.distract.org ◇╯ -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 218.166.93.183
推 ianjelly:I appreciate your purpose.XD 140.119.137.42 12/25
推 ianjelly:若是節奏感強點文法不是問題如Hopkins 但 140.119.137.42 12/27
→ ianjelly:節奏感強點會更好^^ 140.119.137.42 12/27
推 dale:G. M. Hopkins? 218.166.88.50 12/30
推 dale:嗯嗯，我很喜歡他。:) 218.166.88.50 12/30