Painful Wrath
Changing everyday,
determined to find my way.
Find my own path,
escaping life's painful wrath.
Only if I make it
No one can suffer..
But you have to be strong enough to take it.
I have no love at home.
All the love right here
Where it means most,
but I still haven't placed it where it's needed
It needs a place,
and I need a face.
Stuck in my own confusion,
wondering where I got this gun...
It's got me stunned.
How I could actually be able to wave it in the air.
Admiring its shininess and gloss
Something that I've never seen...
Something I've never felt.
It feels cool on my face...
I think it's in its exact place
Pain no longer has to be an option
Should I pull the trigger?
And have this pain gone forever?
Nothing left to live for,
I just want the way out, the door.
This is it, it has to be.
My hands tightens on the trigger,
and I close my eyes,
it'll only be a minute longer.
I'll be gone,
and no one will care.
All I wanted was to be happy and free,
just someone to be there.
Oh dear friend that I long to hear
Come rescue me from this pain
Don't make me pull the trigger
Help me.
Where are you?
Do you exist
I can't do it,
there must be something wrong.
I sink to the floor and cry.
Will I ever find where I belong?
Right now, I belong
On the floor
Crying, weeping, sobbing
until I feel good enough....
I throw the gun across the room
Sobbing aloud as it makes it toward the fireplace
So, I cry
I cry
I cry
I cry...
Because it's the only way I can escape life's painful wrath
I look towards the gun once more,
and stand up and walk away.
Leaving that pain and my home.
Leaving the gun...there's got to be another way.
Another place,
Another Life,
another face
I have yet to wear...
But where am I to go?
Who will be willing to help me through?
Will it be you,
Or will you walk away too?
Am I here all alone?
Finding myself is my hardest task.
I want someone's promise..
That's all I ask,
Will I go back to that familiar gun,
and then let my enemies
know they have won?
Will I finally pull the trigger
and end all this pain?
Or will I continue on, as always,
letting the questions remain?
Katie and KaT
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