Re: [分享] 一篇國2學生的作文,請英文老師們看一下

[ppeach (水貨)]

※ 引述《ppeach (水貨)》之銘言：
: 這是我的學生寫的HW (用情緒動詞寫的,規定的)
: 我之所以想請英文老師看看,是因為我個人覺得寫的很不錯
: 不過,我怕我太主觀了
: 學生資料: 國2,學校月考平均94-98 我們班的上課內容朝英檢的方向走
:           ( 已經上了4個月了,一星期只上1.5小時)
: 請老師們給點評語吧(不用訂正錯誤,我po的是原槁)
: 請問你們覺得以英檢的標準,作文30分沒問題吧
  這是學生的第3篇作文(他們剛開始寫作文)

: A long time ago，she who had big eyes called Joyce
: She never had every problems，but she got a big problem on herself.
: She worried about her eyes，because her eyes are so big that
: the flies always flew into them. She began to tire of her eyes.
: She thought about that the flies were interesting in flew into
: her eyes，as soon as she saw them，she must became excited and
: wanted to hit them. Hitting flies let her lives did not bore，
: but everyone also scared to her. Even though she finished the
: problem，at the same time she got a lot of misunderstanding，too.

: 我覺得不錯的原因
: 1. 這學生上國中前的英文程度只有國小教的東西
: 2. 但是她好學且只要教過一次的文法或句型,她都會用..
: 3. 我覺得她採用了很多片語 ( be worried about / begin to / so...that .....)
: 4. 第一句的關代, 我只教到人用who / 物用which 的基本概念 (還沒算正式教到)

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◆ From: 59.113.2.112
推 super15:不知道刪文的意義何在..要補充修文就可以..這樣不就把別人
→ super15:的意見給刪掉了...
→ super15:既然只是第三篇作文..還是讓學生慢慢來..不要急著想寫太難
→ super15:的句子...錯誤這麼多..反而很不通暢...
推 vinnia:文章時態..及錯字蠻多的~如樓上所說...很不通順..
→ vinnia:建議先從簡單的句型練習寫作文~時態用法正確後再求精進^^
推 nng7baby:時態還是要先搞清楚比較好~句型可以用簡單點的