※ 引述《egghead (egghead)》之銘言：
: 我英文也算母語啦 只是就像台灣小留學生出國 中文就比較差一樣
: 我待在台灣 英文自然不比一直在國外的
Well, frankly speaking, I agree with what the proofreader said about your
English proficiency. You need to demonstrate native-speaker level fluency
and accuracy. There's some distance to go.
: 這個沒問題啊
Great. But don't forget that quality is above everything, especially
when it comes to high-profile cases.
: 我長期將中文當你所說的 形合 語言來用
: 固有此失...
Then maybe you would like to get acquainted with these languages a bit
better.
: : 3.謙和、誠信兩個詞，你用modest, reliabel, truthful來形容
: 信 誠
Reasonable. However, we wouldn't separate that, not to mention that "sincere"
is already available.
: 請問具體事證? 我知道我有問題 但是不會文法式的分析
: 請告訴我是哪個段落發生這樣的事情 我才能有個對應
Let us take the first sentence as an example again.
: : Chinese people handle affairs and behave in a modest, reliable and
: : truthful style; by which the MJ enterprise has always proudly insisted on
: : providing the following- professional quality, responsible attitude and honest
: : service-during our operation of more than 20 years.
Chinese people handle affairs and behave in a ....
這是說中國人「處理事情」『並且』「表現...的行為」嗎？
So do Chinese people handle AND behave in those three ways?
Or do they (1)handle affairs, (2)behave in ....
當然，英文有很多這種句子，有時候真的無可避免
但是盡量不要寫出這種容易混淆的句子
by which .....proudly insisted on providing the following...
老實說，我不知道怎麼分析這個句子
by就用的不對了
而且by which後面要接一個動詞吧
你的動詞是insisted on
可是這個動詞又和後面的insisted on providing黏在一起
所以就不知所云了
另外，標點符號的問題
破折號（-xxx-）即便在英文中也不常用
而且破折號裡頭的內容有時候雖然很重要
但是絕大多數仍然是補充性質
你把這三項這麼重要的東西（我認為是本句的重點，因為是MJ要凸顯的特質）
放在破折號裡頭
讓句子的重心移位了
我昨天說run-on sentence
後來發現，嚴格來說不是run-on sentence
而是文法結構的問題
有很多字的用法掌握的還不是很精確
尤其是關於詞性，何時該用形容詞、何時該用副詞、介詞的選擇等等
總之
讀者每一句都看得懂
但是會花很多力氣
因為感覺上要
dig into the grammatical errors to find the exact meaning
Please bear with my ruthlessness should I seem offensive. I mean
no harm. I just want to help you realise the fact that before
people tap into translation, they often find it helpful to polish
their language proficiencies. If you are confident that English
is your mother tongue, then I suggest that you take composition
lessons to hone your writing skills. Translators need not be
men of letters, but they should be able to write good sentences.
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