cant stop thinking about it
so i had to keep convincing myself
that its fake, its manufactured, its just mirage
but i just cant seem to shake it off
even though its been so long, longer than i expected
cant help but look for any possible traces to let me get to know the person you were trying to hide
why cant you just be a normal person?
sometimes that night popped into my head, and i just cant believe that was the same person who went all out to hurt me
everything changed in a blink of an eye, and it makes me so sad
what you dont know is, i actually knew you, and i still decided to go for it
but as usual, i ended up clobbered
thats always the case, cause i was never the one worth fighting for
it will pass right? tell me it will
CAUSE ITS NOT REAL
3/2
omg you were such a JERK
a fucking douche bag who didnt give a shit about other people’s feelings
you never cared, so why would i?
feel so dumb that im still wasting all this time on you
time to cut you out of my life
cause you are just a horrible person, and i dont need that in my life
there will never be a “maybe”
GET THE FUCK OUT
4/5
In a dream where i was walking in a big grey house, a house that seemed like a rich person would own.
all your relatives were there. i knew they were all elites of some sort for some reason. of course your mom, sis and dad were also there.
i kept walking and walking in that grey maze, feeling eager to find something but i dont remember what it was. was it you? seems logical but i dont think so.
after a while i felt so very tired so i told your sis i needed to lie down.
when i woke up, there you were with a nice smile on your face. i asked you how long have i been sleeping. you said five hours. you said something afterwards but i dont remember what it was. the only thing that stayed on my mind was your smile, nice and warm.
that got me thinking, maybe it was never about if i fell in love with you or not. maybe its actually about the most fundamental thing existing in the relationship between one human being and another. the warmth and kindness i wished to offered you because i saw you in a pit and i was trying to reach out to grab you. but all i got was you turning your back on me and treating my effort like garbage. thats what hurt me. all i ever needed was for you to tell me that you appreciate the warmth and kindness,
even though you are not ready to receive them. Just a nice smile and a small talk would have been enough for me, really.
4/5-2
counting down the days
til i actually see you for who you really are
an inconsiderate and selfish prick
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Diary/M.1646149906.A.733.html
※ 編輯: effy0229 (114.136.93.249 臺灣), 03/01/2022 23:53:57
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