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[bvckk (廖阿水)]

作文：請就以下題目撰寫一篇短文（200-250字），評量項目包括內容、組織、文法、用
字遣詞。

The Hohaiyan Rock Festival（貢寮國際海洋音樂祭）is an annual Taiwan rock
music festival held in Fulong Beach, Gongliao, New Taipei city, Taiwan. This
year the festival is to be held from July 9th to 13th. I would like you to
design and describe a one-week musical package tour for international
tourists.





作文內容

The Hohaiyan Rock Festival is an annual musical festival of rock held in
Fulong Beach,Gongliao. Founded by the cooperation the New Taipei city and a
underground music company, trying to create a Chinese musical evnt like the
Woodstock .The name of this rock festival comes from the Taiwan aboriginal
word,describing the wave and wind of the ocean.Today,large numbers of
singers,underground bands ,performers and composers are attracted to the
festival,making the largest music event in northen Taiwan.




This year the festival is held from July 9th to 13th,tried to arrived before
the show begins.You can come to Fulong earlier on July 7th or 8th,and enjoy
the sun and the beach before the coming visitors.During the
festival,thousands of tourists and music lover will rush into this area,and
the whole area will become a big party.There will be many music performance
everynight in this five days,thus enjoying difference music and relaxing will
be the most important things in this summer night.




Because there is not any performance in the daytime,take the bus to Taipei
city,there are many spots you can go.Day 1,The National Palace Museum will be
the best choice,cause you might feel tired in daytime of the next few
days.Day 2,try the Fulong railroad lunch box,it is the famous food of Fulong
railroad state.Day 3,you can go to the Taipei 101 and enjoy the city tour.Day
4,taste the famous mango ice cream Day 5,you can just relax or enjoy the
beach,because the last show will be the craziest.So,what are you waiting
for?Join us this summer now.

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※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Eng-Class/M.1426609659.A.5D6.html
推 w199381: 再檢查一次 就會發現一些小錯誤  整體來說還可以 只是好
→ w199381: 像有點中文式的直白 有些地方可以再改改讀起來會更順
好的感謝回覆，希望沒花你太多時間閱讀
※ 編輯: bvckk (111.248.20.236), 03/18/2015 23:48:25
推 w199381: 不會欸 看蠻快der 哈哈
→ allenh0728: 很多comma splice跟有一些句子每有主詞
→ allenh0728: 沒有*
→ allenh0728: 也蠻多run on sentence跟fragment
→ allenh0728: 另外不要用不正式的用詞  例：cause =/= becuse; 'cau
→ allenh0728: se = because (informal)
→ bvckk: 也謝謝a大!我昨天沒有回來看@@