Fw: [翻譯] 快板 (Allegro by Tomas Transtromer)

[kaifrankwind (大師兄)]

※ [本文轉錄自 poem 看板 #1L_CRX7D ]

作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄) 看板: poem
標題: [翻譯] 快板 (Allegro by Tomas Transtromer)
時間: Sat Sep 19 10:22:22 2015


結束了黑色的一天，我總彈奏海頓
雙手可以感受簡單的溫暖

琴鍵已待妥，琴槌徐緩落下
那聲響青澀、活潑，又富滿靜謐

它說：自由存在
而某人不願向帝王納稅

我把手插進我的海頓口袋
表現得像是我冷眼看待一切

我舉起我的海頓旗，訊息是：
「我們不會退卻，但是想要和平」

音樂是一棟坡上的玻璃房
石頭在飛，石頭在滾

群群滾石筆直穿越
然而每一面玻璃完整無損





－－－－－
註一：本篇為個人嘗試，譯自Robin Fulton與Robert Bly二人的英譯。還請不吝賜教。
註二：http://goo.gl/Xj1scD　原文（瑞典文）
註三：http://goo.gl/W0zdGI　Robin Fulton之譯本
註四：https://goo.gl/FMn1OP　托馬斯朗誦原詩搭配個人鋼琴演奏，底下回覆有Robert
Bly之譯本。
－－－－－

Robin Fulton's translation:

I play Haydn after a black day
and feel a simple warmth in my hands.

The keys are willing. Soft hammers strike.
The resonance green, lively and calm.

The music says freedom exists
and someone doesn't pay the emperor tax.

I push down my hands in my Haydnpockets
and imitate a person looking on the world calmly.

I hoist the Haydnflag - it signifies:
"We don't give in. But want peace.'

The music is a glass-house on the slope
where the stones fly, the stones roll.

And the stones roll right through
but each pane stays whole.

Robert Bly's translation:

After a black day, I play Haydn,
and feel a little warmth in my hands.

The keys are ready. Kind hammers fall.
The sound is spirited, green, and full of silence.

The sound says that freedom exists
and someone pays no tax to Caesar.

I shove my hands in my haydnpockets
and act like a man who is calm about it all.

I raise my haydnflag. The signal is:
"We do not surrender. But want peace."

The music is a house of glass standing on a slope;
rocks are flying, rocks are rolling.

The rocks roll straight through the house
but every pane of glass is still whole.

--
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※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/poem/M.1442629345.A.1CD.html

※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
※ 轉錄者: kaifrankwind (111.243.243.187), 09/19/2015 10:28:24
※ 編輯: kaifrankwind (111.243.243.187), 09/19/2015 10:36:03
→ bbbtri: 徐緩: kind? kindly?
→ bbbtri: 另外請問doesn't pay the tax的doesn't 就是不願嗎?
→ kaifrankwind: doesn't直接詮釋為不願 是因為接著上句自由(不願繳
→ kaifrankwind: 稅的自由) 這句應該是有源自於某個聖經典故的 可以
→ kaifrankwind: 搜尋"繳稅 凱薩"看看
→ kaifrankwind: 另一版英譯是soft hammer 更容易聯想到緩 但我得承
→ kaifrankwind: 認 這偏差海頓的"快板"太多 而其實我會這樣翻 也是
→ kaifrankwind: 為了反映自己聽影片(註四)裡托馬斯彈琴的感受 但那
→ kaifrankwind: 時托馬斯早已中風 所以彈的不是海頓 而是寫給左手彈
→ kaifrankwind: 的曲目(大概是緩板 lento)