[請益] 英文自傳求批

[sparklystar (パグ)]

本人目前大二要準備大三出去飯店實習的履歷，想請大家看看我的自傳有沒有哪邊錯誤或是不恰當的地方>_< 謝謝！！


My name is XXX, majoring in hotel management. There are 6 people in my family. My character is strongly influenced by the environment in which I grew up. My mother who approaches everyone with friendliness and a caring heart has taught me to do likewise, so I was brought up to be an optimistic and warm-hearted person. I always willing to learn new things, and always do my best to achieve my goals.

While at university, I participated in animal caring club. Through this club, I got a lot of knowledge of taking care of dogs and also learned that every life is precious and we have to cherish it.

Moreover, I work part-time as a waitress for now. This job provides me a good opportunity to learn about customer service, as it requires good customer relation skills, maintaining a pleasant demeanor and a passion for the work. I also gained a lot of valuable experiences in dealing with customer.

I am a fast learner who always put 100% effort in my work, and also believing that I would suit this position. I look forward to growing with a company where I could continue to learn, take advantage of my knowledge, and contribute as much value as I could. It is my greatest wish to be a part of your company.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

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※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 36.238.43.171
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Eng-Class/M.1482932007.A.605.html
推 nelly0702: My mother, who...(要有逗點唷)
→ nelly0702: I'm always willing to...(be verb不要忘記)
→ nelly0702: 我記得believe沒有-ing形式?這點請其他大大確認ˊˇˋ
推 trimurti: 要寫飯店有關的特質  第二段就不用了
推 kee32: for believing的用法非常多喔，是可以的
→ nelly0702: 想請問k大為什麼呢?不懂QQ
→ nelly0702: https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verbs-m_vmwct_
→ nelly0702: 1.htm
→ nelly0702: http://i.imgur.com/DHNU6ml.png
推 kee32: 樓上，動個手指辜狗一下“for believing”，算我拜託你
推 kee32: 不過坦白說，這篇內文我沒看。喔對，還有兩首名曲跟你分享
→ kee32: ，“thank you for loving me”, “I hate myself for lovi
→ kee32: ng you”
推 kee32: 重點不是有無ing，而是沒有countinius的用法。不要急著酸人
→ kee32: ，先確定自己搞懂了。
推 ChiehKuo: Nelly沒有酸人吧xd
推 yoyotvyoo: 感覺不出在酸人+1 xd
推 kee32: 我看錯了，對不起…我以為他說“k大為什麼不懂呢”   對不
→ kee32: 起，我錯了。（嗚…在別板吵到有點腦充血，nelly對不起。
→ kee32: ）
推 vicario837: 家裡六個人也可以不用說吧 跟後文沒有關係
推 ibook0102: 最後一段寫得有點多，都不是重點
→ sparklystar: 謝謝大家的指導:)