作者y12544 (禾子可可)
看板LoL
標題[閒聊] Reddit 熱議：各種掛網理由
時間Fri Apr 13 19:02:54 2018
原文網址：
https://redd.it/8bpj0t
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"我家房子燒起來了，抱歉各位，我可能不會回來了" 他沒說謊，他真的再也沒回來過了。
希望他還好。
底下留言：
They just typed "EARTHQUAKE" and left, same day was the massive earthquake that
hit Mexico just a little while ago. I hope they're ok.
他們就只是打了"地震"然後就離開了，同一天的稍早有大地震侵襲墨西哥。我希望他們沒事
。
hope u reported him
我希望你有檢舉他
He reported malphite
他檢舉了墨菲特
You mean Rammus
你是說拉姆斯吧？
Had a guy who afk'd from the start of the game, comes back after about 35mins
as we're still somehow managing to hold off the enemy. He says: My dog managed
to rip through my power cable for my pc and so it powered down, he had
apparently run to the nearby pc world and bought a new cable or something then
ran back and reconnected lol
有一次，我遇到一個從遊戲開始就在掛網的傢伙，在35分鐘後回來了，那時我們仍然試著抵
抗對面的進攻。他說："我的狗扯爛了我電腦的電線，所以電腦沒電了。"他顯然跑到最近的
pc world並且買了一條新的電線或什麼的，然後再跑回來重新連上遊戲 LOL
Imagine doing something like that just to win the game and still getting hit
by leaverbuster.
想像一下就為了贏game跑去做這種事，然後還是吃到中離終結者的懲罰。
With the recent change, he wouldn't even get lp for the win.
隨著最近的改動，他甚至不會得到那場勝利的分數。
Had a yi say he was at work then had to "brb a customer walked in."
有次有個易大師說他在工作中，然後必須"馬上回來，有個客人走進來了。"
"my grandfather gets circumcised now, i have to go" said my teammate, 3 years
ago in a ranked match
"我阿公現在要去割包皮，我必須走了" - 我的隊友，三年前，在一場積分對戰中
Poor grandpa still can't escape the fate of circumcision.
可憐的阿公，他還是無法逃離割包皮的命運。
Had some guy say “fuvk gotta go” then came back 10min later and goes “we
gotta end within the next 15 min prop”(me) where did you go? (Him) “some
retards just lit up the house next to me so the cops gonna be here soon”
有次有個傢伙說"幹 我要走了" 然後10分鐘後連回來了，然後說"我們必須在15分鐘內結束"
(我)"你去哪了？"(他)"有幾個王八蛋把我家旁邊的房子燒起來了，所以條子很快就會來了"
"Sorry my village is being attack i must go."
"抱歉，我的村莊正在遭受襲擊，我必須要離開了。"
You were playing with Naruto ?
你是在和鳴人玩嗎？
In my case it was my own experience.
Back in S4 or 5 my Dad called me downstairs, I done the usual "I can't I'm in
a game" but this time he sounded serious as if something was wrong.
I go downstairs and my parents told me and my sister that they were splitting up
after 16 years of marriage.
Fuckers made me lose lp.
就我而言，這是我個人的經驗。
回到S4或S5的時候，我爸叫我下樓，我用往常那套"不行啦 我還在遊戲中"回他，但這次他
聽起來是認真的，好像有什麼不對勁。
我下樓了，然後我爸媽告訴我和我妹說在經過16年的婚姻後，他們決定離婚了。
一群王八蛋，害我掉分。
"We’re splitting"
"So are my chances of getting out of FUCKING GOLD DAD!"
"我們要分開了"
"我脫離他媽的金牌的機會也是啦，老爸！"
"sorry guys, I just remembered I hate this game. I'll be going now." - my ADC.
We ended up winning anyways.
"抱歉各位，我剛想起我討厭這遊戲。我現在要走了。" - 我的ADC
反正我們最後還是贏了。
One guy started yelling in all caps that he was going to be in a missile strike
in Hawaii and how he wasn't joking. Of course we all thought it was a joke
until I saw on twitter there was an emergency broadcast about a missile strike.
Luckily it was all just a fat finger...
有個傢伙開始在全頻大吼說他在夏威夷要被導彈攻擊了，而且他沒在唬爛。當然，我們都覺
得他在開玩笑，直到我在推特上看到有個關於導彈攻擊的警報。幸好這一切都只是有人按錯
...
"brb pregnant wife gonna give birth now, will gift if u guys win". And that
player really did gift us with Assassin Master Yi.
"我很快就回來，我懷孕的老婆要生小孩了，如果你們贏的話我會送你們禮物。" 然後那個
玩家真的送了我們復仇刺客 易大師的造型。
I had a wukong who realy had to take a shit, but at least he stayed till it was
safe that we wont loose before he is back
After 20mins he came back and another 5mins later we won
有次我遇到一個悟空，他真的很想棒賽，但至少他撐到了狀況安全的時候，我們在他回來前
不會輸掉
20分鐘後，他回來了，再過5分鐘後，我們贏了
Who needs 20 minutes to shit?
誰會需要花20分鐘來拉屎啊？
People whose diet consists of no fiber and almost exclusively red meat.
菜單中不含纖維，幾乎都是紅肉的人。
NA?
美國人？
Well... i had to go afk in a ranked match because my mom fell off the stairs and
broke her arm... does that count?
Also had a ezreal that fir some reason said: i need to smoke and imediantly left
game
嗯...我必須在一場積分中掛網，因為我媽從樓梯上摔下來，摔斷了她的手臂...這樣算嗎？
此外，我有次遇到一個伊澤瑞爾說"我需要抽根菸"然後馬上就跳game了
A talon went afk saying "sorry, my dealer just arrived" we were winning the 4vs5
and then he came back. As soon as he noticed we were winning (we were already
hitting their inhibitors) he said: "great guys, the next hit will be in your
honor"
有個塔隆掛網了，他說"抱歉，我的毒販剛到了" 我們4v5贏了，然後他回來了。他一回來就
發現我們快贏了(我們已經在拆他們的兵營了) 他說："各位，幹得好，我抽完後的下一支會
是用來紀念你們的"
I had a game where someone said "Sorry guys my wife is giving birth brb" he then
gave us his wife's instagram and he wasn't lying
有一場是有個人說"抱歉各位，我的老婆要生了，馬上回來" 然後他就傳了他老婆的IG，他
沒在說謊
Last thing I would EVER do is give out my wife’s Instagram to a bunch of
spastics on league lmao
我最不可能做的事就是把我老婆的IG傳給英雄聯盟上的一堆蠢蛋 笑死
I felt asleep during the champ select/loading screen (already had locked my
champ,lucian), i woke up 20-30 minutes later as the enemy was destroying our
nexus towers, also i was playing with a friend that was on his promo series who
was calling me on skype the entire time.
有次我在選角畫面/讀取畫面(已經選了我的角色，路西恩)睡著了，我在20~30分鐘後醒來，
當時敵人已經在拆我們的主堡塔了，此外，我還和一個朋友玩，他當時正在打BO，他整場都
在Skype上叫我
sad for your friend, he may have thought you passed away.
為你的朋友感到難過，他可能以為你已經掛了。
He's done worse things to me, he ints every game but that's just because he
sucks
(原po)他對我做過更糟的事，他每場都在送頭，但那只是因為他爛透了
In ARAM(we’re losing slightly):
Illaoi: “guys I’m about to get a bj, can I afk?”
Me: “could you both you and her wait 10 mins so we can win this game”
Illaoi: “ but he’s here now”
Illaoi: “Cmon, let me get my dick suuuucckked.”
Me: “ ._. “
Illaoi: “ ok I’m leaving bye”
Jhin: “good luck man enjoy”
We lost
在ARAM(我們有點落後)
伊羅旖："各位，有人要幫我吹了，我能掛網嗎？"
我："你和她可以先等個10分鐘嗎？這樣我們就能贏下這場"
伊羅旖："可是他已經到了"
伊羅旖："拜託嘛，讓我的ㄐㄐ被吹一下嘛"
我："._."
伊羅旖："ok 我要閃人了 拜"
燼："祝你好運，好好享受吧"
我們輸了
cant he multitask or what
他不能一心多用或怎樣嗎？
This happened long time ago. I was playing ADC, can't remember what champion.
Anyway, the enemy team had Jinx ADC. Suddenly she disappeared. After 15 minutes
she comes back and writes in all chat "THERE WAS A F*CKING HUGE BEE IN MY ROOM"
:D
這是很久以前發生的。我當時在打ADC，忘記玩哪隻角了。不管怎樣，對面有吉茵珂斯ADC。
突然間，她消失了。過了15分鐘後，她回來了，然後全頻說"我的房間有隻超幹爆大的蜜蜂"
:D
Me: "singed why were u afk for 3mins?" Singed: "was ordering pizza XD"
20 minutes later
Singed: "My pizza is ready!!"
A summoner has disconnected.
Ended up losing as we weren't strong enough 4v5 and yes, this was a ranked soloq
game.
我："辛吉德，為什麼你要掛網掛3分鐘？"
辛吉德："我在點披薩XD"
(20分鐘後)
辛吉德："我的披薩好了！"
(一個召喚師已離開遊戲)
最後還是輸了，我們沒有強到能4v5，然後，對，這是場soloq。
"Sorry guys my fish died from drowning"
"抱歉各位，我的魚溺死了"
I once had to AFK cause my little brother was having a panic attack and I had to
call an ambulance for him/take care of him. He's fine now but my team lost
without me.
有次我必須掛網，因為我弟突然恐慌症發作，我必須打電話叫救護車來載他/照顧他。他沒
事，但隊友因為少了我所以輸掉了。
you caused 4 other people to have a panic attack
你害另外四個人恐慌症發作了
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都2018了還有人= =不加空格= =
--
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※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/LoL/M.1523617377.A.0E2.html
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推 YoruHentai : 我看了三小XDDDS 04/13 19:06
推 su4vu6 : 可憐的阿公Q_Q 04/13 19:06
推 aa97434 : 這篇笑死 04/13 19:08
推 jessica805 : 我的魚溺死了ㄏㄏㄏ 04/13 19:09
推 qqaazz12382 : 笑死www昨天彈性遇到一個瑟雷西被史瓦妮大到一次就 04/13 19:09
推 y35246357468: 我沒差阿 04/13 19:09
推 kosoj6 : 射了 04/13 19:09
→ qqaazz12382 : 在中二塔掛機 然後他還跑去吃三狼www 04/13 19:09
推 lunar : 我的魚溺死了????? 04/13 19:10
推 Gnardada : 阿公好可憐QAQ 04/13 19:10
推 DON3000 : 都阿公了幹嘛割= = 04/13 19:11
推 richardh : 恩...山椒魚? 04/13 19:11
推 kosoj6 : 靠邀 bj那個是he... 04/13 19:12
推 LiNaK31119 : 那人是來自海烏姆村嗎wwwww 04/13 19:13
→ LiNaK31119 : 魚溺死了wwww 04/13 19:13
推 koko12525 : 蜜蜂XDDDDDDDDDDD 04/13 19:14
推 bigwhite327 : 那葛161是被男ㄉ吹吹ㄇ 04/13 19:15
推 hookerray : 我還真的有一次打到一半滑鼠壞掉，打字跟隊友說我要 04/13 19:16
→ hookerray : 去7-11買滑鼠，買新的回來剛好趕上20投QQ 04/13 19:16
推 ultradoublez: 害隊友得恐慌症XDD 04/13 19:19
噓 ununnihao : Illaoi: “ but he’s here now” 嘔嘔嘔嘔嘔 04/13 19:19
推 Softrella : 那個dealer是指販毒的dealer吧XD 04/13 19:22
原來是這個意思嗎XD
推 ybz612 : 包皮XDDDDDD 04/13 19:23
推 godbigmilk : 阿公 TAT 04/13 19:24
推 kevin262 : 鳴人XD 04/13 19:24
推 asabase : 溺死XDDDDDDD 04/13 19:27
推 loveisth520 : 離婚那個害我笑了 04/13 19:28
推 Fantasyweed : 比扯的幹XDDDDDDDDDD 04/13 19:31
推 yoyo095235 : 被家人gank真的難防 04/13 19:35
推 tw15 : the next hit will be in your 感覺hen屌 04/13 19:35
推 Survey : 我媽叫我下去吃飯 04/13 19:37
推 archon : 幫女兒換尿布... (隊友對不起 QwQ 04/13 19:42
推 AlvaroMorata: 阿公哈哈哈 04/13 19:46
推 puro : 那個伊羅旖是男的幫他吹? 04/13 19:49
推 StephenChou : NA? LUL 04/13 19:51
推 rosalic0423 : 蜜蜂也太可怕了吧…… 04/13 19:51
推 tedyamiekids: 我之前發生過警察來網咖臨檢，然後我正在爬分。然 04/13 19:51
→ tedyamiekids: 後我在家掛網了五分鐘回答警察問的狗屎爛蛋。 04/13 19:51
推 YanZiNo1 : 幹為什麼當阿公了還要割包皮 04/13 19:52
推 ppt12527 : 好好笑,便祕20分鐘 04/13 19:54
推 Sargasso : 伊羅旖那個是甲甲吧 04/13 19:54
推 zzx945k6jo3 : 上次遇到一個選塔龍sup還跑去關火關到離線= = 04/13 20:06
推 nico5516 : 那個不是交易 應該是毒販沒錯... 04/13 20:14
噓 S890127 : 161那個可能本人是女的啊 奇怪欸 性別歧視 04/13 20:14
推 AbukumaKai : 女的有dick??? 04/13 20:32
推 Sargasso : 英文盲怪人性別歧視... 04/13 20:35
→ Fantasyweed : 幻肢 04/13 20:52
推 your135 : 他都說my dick了怎可能是女的 04/13 20:53
推 ikrhioehu : 我遇過雷歐娜說要帶BB(嬰兒)去看醫生然後就跳了 04/13 21:13
推 ilove640 : 我跟我朋友都有因為會飛的蟑螂掛網過 還好是五排= = 04/13 21:18
噓 lucifiel1618: 只有美國佬才會以為NA只有美國 04/13 21:39
推 bruce511239 : 夏威夷XD 04/13 21:41
推 XavierLu : 幹 等 老婆懷孕送復仇刺客 這沒問題嗎 04/13 21:42
推 ska9362 : 我懷疑放火燒房子的是Dyrus 04/13 21:48
推 deadloser : Dealer是指毒販，next hit應該是指用完後的下一支 04/13 22:06
已更正 感謝
推 drunkhsun : Pizza那個好好笑 04/13 22:53
推 ted40905 : 笑死 04/14 00:24
推 colin13542 : 我最不會做的事—>最不可能做的事 04/14 01:35
已更正 感謝
推 ISNAKEI : 無線滑鼠電池沒電…買回來剛好輸QQ 04/14 02:16
推 raxes : 樓上我是不是遇到你 有次爬分遇到一隻鱷魚上路滑鼠 04/14 08:07
→ raxes : 沒電 04/14 08:07
推 USS : 161前面是用her 後面自述用he… 04/20 10:41
※ 編輯: y12544 (42.73.108.177), 06/09/2018 15:45:10