[問題] 寫了一篇比較的作文 BBC跟NPR的比較

[kiker (kiker)]

寫了一篇文章  比較BBC 跟 NPR
想跟大家分享  順便看看我哪裡寫得不好  可以改進
結論還沒有寫...想聽聽大家的意見再寫

這是我的大綱
Title :Comparison BBC & NPR
1.      Introduction: The differences between BBC & NPR
2.      Body
        (1)     BBC
                A.      Style of broadcasting
                B.      Standpoint of Politics
                C.      Materials
        (2)     NPR
                A.      Style of Broadcasting
                B.      Standpoint of Politics
                C.      Materials
3.      Conclusion


這是我寫的本文
                  Comparison of BBC and NPR

      BBC and NPR are both extremely well-known broadcast mediums.
 British Broadcasting Corporation, short for BBC, is the public
 service broadcaster of the United Kingdom.It is the world's oldest
 national broadcasting organization.NPR is an abbreviation for
 National Public Radio.It is a privately and publicly funded
 non-profit membership media group in United States.
 Both of the mediums are historic and famous.

      The style of broadcasting of BBC is objective and traditional.
 Therefore, it is unavoidable that this medium makes people feel
 a little bit boring.BBC's standpoint of politics is on the British
 government's side.There are more international news and materials
 which are used on BBC.The style of broadcasting of NPR is more
 interesting.Sometimes, the audiences may feel the anchor announce news
 just like he or she is chatting.The standpoint of politics of NPR
 is inclined to the U.S.A. government. There are more domestic
 news and materials which are used on NPR.





--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 61.228.152.30
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/SENIORHIGH/M.1449990608.A.CCB.html
推 Qe098149001: 還不錯，除了一些小修改可以讓整篇更順外，意思有表
→ Qe098149001: 達清楚。
→ Qe098149001: 我的話會在 body paragraph 多加一點 supporting evi
→ Qe098149001: dence, 譬如 BBC 如何 objective 和 traditional
→ Qe098149001: 但大概只是因為習慣吧（我寫文章是都是 intro + 3 bo
→ Qe098149001: dy + conclusion... ）
→ henrylol: 樓上 大考段數都限制兩段很OOXX
→ henrylol: 多用些連接詞不然太平鋪直敘了 第一段感覺是廢話濃縮點
→ henrylol: 你對於兩者的比較太少了 末段沒有結尾的感覺
推 cuteeQiao: 應該沒有限制2段吧，我看範文幾乎都3段以上呀qq
→ Qe098149001: 所以我說是個人習慣阿，畢竟我完全不清楚台灣的考試
→ Qe098149001: 規定…
我重新修正了我的文法跟用詞
能否請高手幫我看一下我的作文 並指正我 謝謝




                     Comparison of BBC and NPR

       British Broadcasting Corporation and National Public Radio are
  two well-known broadcast media. BBC is a public service broadcaster
  in United Kingdom and is the world oldest national broadcasting
  organization. NPR is a non-profit membership medium that is both
  funded privately and publicly in United States. Both of the medium
  are famous.

       The broadcasting style of BBC is rather objective. It is nothing
  news that the medium often bores the audiences through its broadcast.
  The political standpoint of BBC is based on British government directly.
  Thus, the amount of news audience can find on BBC is significantly
  greater than the average media. On the other hand, NPR's style of
  broadcasting tends to be more entertaining. Often audiences may feel
  the anchor broadcasts news through chattering style which brings
  relaxation to the audiences. The political point of view of NPR is
  inclined to the U.S. government; therefore, domestic news is
   more often used by NPR.
※ 編輯: kiker (61.228.152.30), 12/13/2015 16:47:46
推 teddyisgood: 句型沒什麼變化多加一點變化
推 labihua: 你知道大考的優秀範文都長篇大論嗎