[問題] 英文作文

[jt910203 (aa)]

想請各位大大幫我改一下英文作文...感激不盡

另外想小小聲的問..這篇中高級可以過嘛..



現在越來越多人喜歡使用網路的即時訊息，他們偏好在網路上打字勝於打電話。
1.      請給一些造成這種情況的原因。
2.      這樣的溝通方式會產生什麼樣的潛在問題？



Nowadays, with the advance of technology, sending instant message on the net
is getting more and more popular .  People prefer sending message in typing
way rather than giving phone call. That is because most of electronic
products have the function of surfing the net such as computers and
smartphones, which of them used by people everywhere. People not only can
send and get the instant message in one second, but don’t have to pay the
high expense of phone fee. Therefore, this kind of communication way becomes
a trend in life of people.

On the other hand, this new communication way has two potential problems.
Firstly, students may like to spend most of their time chatting with their
friends on the net, and neglect their school works. Secondly, if people
always interactive with people in this way, they will have bad human
relationships. Therefore, even if the new communication way is changing people
’s life, we still have to communicate with people in real way such as
companying with family and our friends, and should not be controlled by
electronic products.

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※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/SENIORHIGH/M.1461388163.A.D59.html
噓 b5023556    : 這篇頂端只摸到中級的邊...
→ jt910203    : 一波大師 賜教了 阿里阿斗狗紮以馬死
噓 ez51218     : 這裡是高中版
推 parker09    : 這樣幾字啊?
→ jt910203    : 181
推 parker09    : 太少吧我覺得
推 sherman0220 : 不夠到中高級程度，用詞很正常但偏基礎，已經OK了
→ sherman0220 : 但中高級盡是需要那些比較難的字彙。
→ jt910203    : 嗯嗯 他規定是140啦..但我可能廢話太多了
推 donis12345  : rather than是加原形V吧o'__'o
推 rokuchan17  : rather than可以加Ving 只要左右詞性對等就好 另外
→ rokuchan17  : 有些錯誤如果不嫌棄的話晚上回家用筆電再改改看(但
→ rokuchan17  : 我只能大致改也不一定對) 另，這篇絕對中高不會過，
→ rokuchan17  : 用字太淺顯也有一些錯誤
→ rokuchan17  : 還有我印象中中高是限制150～180吧
→ jt910203    : 謝謝R大！
推 macphion38  : 覺得小錯誤有點多，然後way, life等重複出現太多次
→ macphion38  : （可以試著直翻成中文念念看就懂了
推 macphion38  : ，換句話說的功力可以多琢磨）不介意等的話可以晚點
→ macphion38  : 拿到筆電後站內信跟你說～
→ jt910203    : 3Q~