Tim Duncan致LaMarcus Aldridge的手寫信

[jimmy5680 (折翼的企鵝)]

: → spurs2120: 如果你們想知道的話，Duncan還手寫了一封信給Aldridge   07/10 01:42
: → spurs2120: http://tinyurl.com/phcnsxo 沒有極限的一群人...       07/10 01:42

我打成文字了，不過太晚了而且我最近對翻譯沒有信心了，
看有沒有高手有閒暇願意翻譯一下。

Tim Duncan致LaMarcus Aldridge的手寫信

http://tinyurl.com/phcnsxo

Dear Mr. Aldridge,
        Let me be (I was just told by the man sitting next to me in this public
library that no one reads cursive anymore. Well, if everyone practiced their
penmanship for 2 hours every night like I do, then more people would be
willing to use the Queen’s favored longhand. Anyway, no sense in wasting
paper. I’ll begin below.)
Dear Mr. Aldridge,
        Let me be first to welcome you to the team that I am on too. When I first
heard you will be joining the San Antonio Spurs, I walked reasonably fast to
my bookshelf of hard cover basketball almanacs and looked up your name. I
know that we have played each other many times but I treat all players on
opposing teams as faceless gray shapes moving about, seemingly at random, and
getting in my way while I attempt to put the basketball through the rim via
hook shot or, failing that, another efficient method.
        After finding the pages dedicated to you in my almanac, I decided to have
some fun and go through the box score of every game you played, add up all of
the points from each game (1,661 points) and all of the rebounds from each
game (726 rebounds) and divide each of those numbers by the number of games
you played last season (71). The whole process took me 13 hours and 22
minutes and I didn’t look away from what I was doing one time except to sip
on my glass of milk. Milk is good for you, so I drink it often.
        Those stats are good and they also mean you also averaged what the flashier
members of the basketball community call a “double double,” but the first
thing you’re going to learn as a San Antonio Spur is that we don’t use or
understand any of the silly idioms a lot of other basketball people use. Here
’s a short chat sheet I keep to help me understand what those flashy talkers
mean: - “From Way Downtown” – Shooting from an abnormally long distance –
“Slam dunk” – Overaggressive layup – “Finger roll” – overaggressive
hook shot – “Alley-oop” – Pass that accidentally went too high so the
player had to receive it in mid air and didn’t have room to come down with
it and take a hook shot so he just had to put it in the basket right then and
there.
“Posterize” – Impossible to tell what this meas.
Proper response: ‘yes, that sure was.”

Anyway Mark (can I call you Mark? The ‘La’ and ‘us’ and ‘c instead of k’
 in your name seems suferfluous), I’m also writing to formally invite you to
our annual season kick of next month. We hold one of these every year as a
treat for the fans, to welcome new player, and give them a taste of what they
are in store for as part of the San Antonio Spurs. No one is ever late or
loud or rude and since everyone follows the rules, it’s always a good time.
I have included the itinerary below, hope you can make it.
        6 am – roll call/ general meet and greet. Coffee not allowed. Orange juice
allowed but not provided.
        7 am – toe touches
        8 am – Hood shot drills
        9 am – Bounce pass drills
        10 am – Autograph session with fans (each player signs on Ruled 4”X6”
 Oxford Index Card for each fan in attendance)
        11 am – More hook shot drills
        Noon – lunch (brown bag, no lunch provided)
        1 pm – (low energy) Lecture on history of San Antonio
        2 pm – (low speed) Give and go drills
        3 pm – Water break and mandatory check that everyone’s shirts are tucked in
        4 pm – 5 mile run
        5 pm – No-look passing contest (this is a fan favorite. It’s structured
like the All Star Game Overaggressive Layup Contest, but with passes)
***Judged by sports stars and celebrities including Jess Hornacek, Michele
from Destiny’s Child, and Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials*

8:30 pm – lights out (after watching Modern Family)

Sincerely, (couldn’t help myself, cursive is so fun!)

Tim Duncan



TD把superfluous寫成suferfluous，不知道是錯字還是故意的，不是我打錯。

深綠色的字是他劃掉的(刪除線)。

希望沒有甚麼錯誤，有興趣的人可以嘗試翻譯。

※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 1.171.62.86
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Spurs/M.1436467060.A.4AC.html
→ spurs2120: 先說，我沒有查證這是不是惡搞喔 XD
→ spurs2120: 我也還沒看過內容，如果真的是惡搞麻煩說一下
推 noise02: 打成文字好讀很多啊XD
推 TimDuncan21: 真的因為字太醜XD
推 buyao531: 這網站來源+內容，99%是惡搞啦w
推 kimisky: 幫推，等等原PO說對翻譯沒信心不會是因為之前有一篇外絮
→ kimisky: 在總板被說翻得不太好吧@@?  我覺得明明沒那麼糟..
推 aeCynzia: 應該是惡搞啦 XDDD
噓 risingsuns: 簽名檔
推 risingsuns: 馬刺版可以酸其他隊球員是嗎
推 DaddyAlex: funnyordie是著名的惡搞網站
推 TimDuncan21: 為何不能酸?
好啦不要起爭議，我砍掉就是。
※ 編輯: jimmy5680 (1.171.62.86), 07/10/2015 11:00:54
推 iIvan: 從別的網站看到都說是假的喔
推 orcpon: 原來是惡搞，我已經翻了一半說.... XDDD
→ teethbud: 還是想看翻譯 求樓上 >O<
推 orcpon: 我也是用我的破英文翻的，還是不要獻醜了 ><
→ AquariusTACO: 什麼 是惡搞唷  冏