推 ovivian3: 推分享！ 08/16 15:29
承之前文章，常常看到同學寫作發展方向重點放錯，今天再來看兩個實例！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.
Agree.
First of all, making the product seem much better means that making the
product to look more appealing, and advertisements do make the product look
more attractive. For example, there is a mop that has been on the market for
decades, but because of no advertisement, people did not know about this mop.
However, after the mop company started to put high quality advertisements on
magazines and other media, people started to buy this mop because the mop
look fashionable on the advertisement. Therefore, although the mop hasn’t
been renovated, the advertisement made the mop seem much better than they
really are.
同學可以先想一下，主題句結束後，例子發展有呼應到的有哪些字？先想一下再往下看。
——————————————————————————————
應該有發現到，針對”look more appealing”這個主題句的論點，有呼應到的地方，只
有兩個字：look fashionable, 這樣發展顯然是不夠的。
建議至少再加兩句話發展，例如：
When they started to air commercials where people use their mop in a big
fancy house, customers would think it looks really nice and would consider
getting one in their place too. They may only realize that the mop looks good
only because the house in the commercial was well-designed and decorated to
match the mop until they get the product.
在看另外一個例子。
Which is beneficial for young students (14-18y) to do in their spare time?
a. Working and gaining practical experience such as volunteer or part-time job
b. Learning sports
c. Learning a musical instrument
同學立場：Learning sports
First of all, young students can make friends through learning sports. For
instance, swimming includes four poses, freestyle, breaststroke, backstroke,
and butterfly stroke, respectively, and if students want to swim quickly,
they need to improve their posture to the standard. Students can hire a
coach, watch online videos, or ask other people for help. Through this
process, students can make friends more easily because they have common
topics to talk about and can also discuss sports competitions to improve
themselves. Accordingly, learning sports can make friends.
一樣先想一下，有呼應到交朋友這件事的，有哪幾個部分？
Through this process, students can make friends more easily because they have
common topics to talk about 只有這裡，而且common topics就帶過去，也沒發展到。
回到主題句，想一下要如何發展can make friends through learning sports?
可能方向如下：
藉由學游泳這件事情，如果碰到一樣也喜歡游泳的人，很自然的會聊起游泳相關的事，包
含平常如何練習？怎麼讓自己進步？有什麼不錯的影片或網紅？很自然的就會有共同的話
題，甚至可能會一起約出來游泳，幫對方看看有什麼地方可以進步，會變成好朋友。
所以游泳包含自由式、蛙式，除非是要寫更長的文章，不然在這種3, 400字的文章裡面，
根本不重要，建議不寫，趕快發展「交朋友」這件事。
希望藉由以上這兩個例子，同學更能抓到文章該鋪陳、發展的方向。
Till next time,
J2
***
8/18(四)下半年機經趨勢公開課，僅此一梯：
http://j2toefl.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_17.html
8/20 (六) 實力雙講座：托福背景知識＋口說特訓公開課
https://forms.gle/fudzcwvKrNmF9CdX9
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 114.45.209.131 (臺灣)
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/TOEFL_iBT/M.1660240846.A.47E.html