[英中] 想問大家這句翻譯哪裡有問題

[Kayla (Kayla)]

以下是論文摘要的其中一句
前幾天我的英文摘要被口試委員說翻的怪怪的 請我再修改
而我實在也搞不懂哪裡有問題
因此想請問大家看看 究竟是哪裡出了問題 謝謝!


中文原文：

人是組織的核心，因此掌握優秀員工是強化企業競爭力的重要關鍵。


英文翻譯：

As organizational members form the core of an organization,
having outstanding employees is the key to enhancing a company’s
competitiveness.


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推 EVASUKA: 我覺得問題是冗贅。可能可改為As the core of an organiz
→ EVASUKA: ation lies in its members, outstanding employees are
→ EVASUKA: key to a company’s competitiveness.
推 S8972616F: Human resource is the core of an organisation, and
→ S8972616F: having an exceptional workforce is the key to...
→ S8972616F: OR therefore the key to enhancing the business'
→ S8972616F: competitiveness is to secure an exceptional workfor
→ EVASUKA: 樓上workforce用得好！
→ Kayla: 謝謝解惑