[討論] 追尋現代中國: 再論溫洽溢的翻譯 Part 2

[decorum (Festina Lente)]

該說英文的部分了。 很遺憾，我認為錯誤多如牛毛!

開卷讀到「中文版序」，我就有很糟糕的預感:
Spence說這本書本該多寫些臺灣的部分(v)，
溫洽溢卻譯成「拙著並未將之含括在內」 (viii).

不在其位，不食其祿。這原是譯者和編輯該做的事情，

我就不一一列舉錯誤了，只說比較刺眼的吧。

若想看詳細的譯評，可以到 http://www.yiwen.com.cn/mybbs/

找 "史景迁《追寻现代中国》译评" ，共49篇近700條評論。

這位網友寫了到清帝遜位，所以我只用民國以後的部分當例子。

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有些可能是打字錯誤，如把新教徒 protestants 翻成「清教徒」(p.504),
以及把陸戰隊 Marines當成「海軍」 (p.643）。

有些是一時眼花誤讀所致：

Sun was driven out of Canton by feuding warlords in 1918. (p.297)
一九一八年，孫逸仙被封建軍閥驅逐出廣州，(p.384)

顯然把 feuding 誤看成 feudal 了

With the war dragging on, the only sop to China came through the availability
of large amounts of lend-lease supplies, and the careful way in which General
Wedemeyer and his staff labored to improve the combat efficiency of
thirty-nine specially selected divisions of Chiang's own armies,... (P.483)

隨著戰況的膠著，中國的唯一希望繫於美國繼續提供大量戰備物資的援助，
以及魏德邁將軍和他的參謀幕僚裝備三十九個師的中國部隊以加強其作戰能力，(P.638)

把小小的慰藉 sop 看成了 hope?

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更多錯誤，根本是英文程度不夠造成的。

不客氣地說，連程度好點兒的高中生應該也不會犯這些錯誤：

Sun Yat-sen had several times in the early 1920s sent confidential missions
to Germany to seek technical and military advisers for his Canton government.
But the people he wanted were either not available or not interested......
(p.397)

一九二０年代初，孫逸仙曾數次遣派密使至德國，為廣州政府尋覓科技與軍事顧問。但是
孫意欲起用的人不是非堪大任就是志不在此 (p.516)

人家只是無暇分身 (not available) 罷了，怎能說他們非堪大任？


There were close to 1.25 million Japanese troops in China proper, and another
900,000 in Manchuria, not counting all the puppet troops, armed
or partially armed, and over 1.75 million Japanese civilians in the country.
(p. 485)

當時有將近一百二十五萬的日本部隊駐留中國本土，另有九十萬部隊部署在東北，這還不
包括傀儡政權的軍隊，以及逾一百七十五萬武裝或半武裝的日本文官。 (p.644)

civilians 是平民。 在華的文官若有一百七十五萬人，日本人全部都搬到中國了吧！

這麼不合理的事情，翻的時候難道沒想過嗎？


The American consul general in Mukden (p.498)
美國駐瀋陽領事館的武官 (p.659)

consul general「總領事」被降級成武官了，顯然以為general是軍職將領。

若遇到的是secretary general, 會鬧什麼笑話？


One important sideline to Bandung was China's effort to resolve problems
arising from the large numbers of Chinese living in Southeast Asian
countries. The income that these Chinese sent back to their families at home
was an important source of China's foreign exchange, and the last
thing China wanted to do was weaken the loyalty of these overseas citizens to
their native land. (p.554)

萬隆之行還有另一項重要議題，亦即眾多華僑在東南亞國家生活所遭遇的問題。東南亞地
區的華僑寄回家鄉的錢是中共外匯的重要來源，中國此行所能做的就是盡可能緩和這些海
外僑民對祖國的向心力。(p.750)

sideline 表示不是在萬隆會內討論的議題，而是會場外的問題。

the last thing China wanted to do...... 中國最不願意做的事情，
就是削弱這些華僑對祖國的忠誠。

翻譯完全跑到另一邊去了！

During the early stages of the First Five-Year Plan, Mao Zedong began to see
that intellectuals—writers as well as scientists and engineers—of all
political persuasions would be needed if there were to be a surge in China's
productive capacities. (p.566)

一五計劃初期階段，毛澤東開始體察到，中國若要增進生產力，包括作家、科學家、工程
師在內的所有知識分子都必須擁有堅定的政治信念。(p.764)

of all political persuasions......

具有各種政治信仰的作家、科學家、工程師......


It was a time when many felt that things were going well in China, a feeling
expressed in a loosening of the drab dress codes, a brief blooming of
flowered blouses and slit skirts, and even the staging of an officially
sanctioned fashion show. (p.568)

這段時間中國大勢看好，這可以從衣著限制的逐漸放寬之上看出，花襯衫與窄裙曾一度流
行過，甚至可以欣賞到官方禁止的服裝表演。(p.766)

officially sanctioned fashion show 官方批准的服裝表演

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有些問題是不明典故造成的：

It was an apocalyptic version of that dragging of China into the modern world
that Hegel had speculated about thirty years before. (p.182)

馬克思此一觀察無疑是三十年前，黑格爾斷言中國將被迫拖入現代世界之天啟式的說法。
(p.225)

apocalyptic是apocalypse 的形容詞，原意是「啟示」沒錯,
但聖經最後一篇「啟示錄」詳細預言了末日災難的慘況，
所以apocalyptic有「末日災難的」的意思。

翻為「天啟式」，教讀者如何明白？

In reasserting central government power, Guomindang official's behaved in a
"carpetbagging" style similar to that followed in Shanghai and Manchuria.
(p.510)

國民黨在重新伸張中央政權的過程中，其行為舉止所流露出的「政客」（carpet
bagging）品行一如在上海、東北的表現。(p.674)

carpetbaggers 是美國南北戰爭結束後，從北方跑去南方發展的人，
南方人認為他們是一群從事掠奪的外來投機份子。

Spence用這個字形容來台灣接收的國民黨，就是強調其外來掠奪的特性，
譯為政客，完全是隔靴搔癢。

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有些問題是不明白英語口語造成的：

The Communists, had they been given a free hand, might have been able to
foment real revolution in the countryside. (p.355)

如有免費助力，共產黨應該已經可以在農村地區發動真正的革命了。(p.463)

"give someone a free hand"是讓某人作主的意思。

中共在武漢時，處處聽命於莫斯科，發動許多城市暴動而失敗；
毛澤東當時則在發展農村革命，遵義會議後才成為中共的主流路線。
Spence認為如果那時中共能作主，農村革命路線就不會等那麼久了。

革命又不是請客吃飯，哪來的免費助力？！

不明白 "give someone a free hand"的意思，所以再碰到時，
也翻得有氣無力：

Mao retorted sharply, "It is necessary to give the masses a free hand."
(p.595)
毛則嚴厲駁斥，「必須對群眾鬆手」。(p.804)

「讓人民群眾當家作主！」才是老毛的霸氣口吻。


"settle old scores" 也是出現過兩次，譯者都沒搞明白的口語：

This fear was borne out in the months after the Manchu abdication, as old
scores were settled and powerful local incumbents took over a range of new
posts designed to bring the authority of the central government much deeper
into the countryside than the old Qing magistrates had ever been able to do.
(pp.279-80)

清帝遜位後一個月，坐實了這樣的憂慮，舊問題解決了，但勢力強大的地方官員佔據各項
新職，使中央政府的權威比過去滿清時代更加深入滲透鄉村社會。(p.362)

"settle an old score" 是算舊帳、報舊仇的意思。

原文的意思是革命後清帝遜位，既有的地方勢力乘機算舊帳，公報私仇，
結果革命後還把持了更多的地方權力，比過去還有勢力。

阿Q正傳不就是說這故事嗎？

舊問題解決了？

因為始終沒搞懂"settle an old score"是什麼意思，接下來就更翻得離譜了：

Violence was an integral part of this process, as old scores were settled
with village thugs and personal enemies as well as with landlords. (p.492)

一如往常在界定土豪劣紳、個別敵人和地主身份的實踐經驗，暴力是整個土改過程之中不
可分割的內在要素。(p.651)

簡單說就是：「算清」土豪劣紳、個別敵人....

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口語是很難對付的東西，沒在英語國家待過幾年，很容易誤觸地雷。
但譯者本來就該做足功課，不帶掃雷機進場，結果就是血肉模糊。


我想一戰歐洲戰場華工的一封家書，具體體現了溫譯的問題：

For the inspection of my elder brother. I have come many ten thousand li*
since I saw you. I am doing well and you need not have anxiety about me. I
am earning three francs per day, but as living is expensive I cannot send many
home yet. As to my quarrelling with you, that day at Yaowan, before I left,
forget it! I did unworthily. Please take care of our parents and when I return
in three or five years, I will bring enough money to help support them the
rest of their days. (p.292)

自從接受了阿兄的建議後，我們之間已經相距幾萬里。我工作得很好，妳不用為我擔心。
我每天攢三法郎，但生活昂貴，目前我尚沒有能力寄許多錢回家。就在我離開之前，在洮
灣（音）那天我們曾吵架，忘了它吧! 我不值得妳生氣。請照顧我們的爹娘，我將在三、
五年內回來，那時我會攜回足夠的錢讓他們度過餘生。(p.377)

一，搞錯收信人的身份。For the inspection of my elder brother

    分明是寫給哥哥的，卻誤為寫給自己的老婆。

二，「攢」是存、儲蓄的意思，earn 當作「掙」。

三，語氣也不對。晏陽初教導華工1000字寫家書，會用到文謅謅的「餘生」嗎？


典雅華麗比較重要. 正確？ The hell with you readers!

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※ 編輯: decorum (203.67.147.104), 06/29/2017 14:24:08